Letter
by ResDes2
Summary: This is the story of Troy Bolten and Matt Trint's relationship who is played by the gorgeous Sean Faris . Hope you like. More will come. Rated M for a reason. Please review! There has been more added to chapter 2.
1. Beginning

**It's funny. This will most likely be one of my most heartfelt and emotional and deep stories, and it's a FanFiction for High School Musical. Oh well. Don't worry. I will defiantly go back to Twilight. This story started off as pure smut and turned into something magical. Yea! Anyway, yeah, I hope you like it. This story is going to show how people look at one another and how you look at yourself. It also shows sort of the life of a budding homosexual and how to cope with that. It also goes into true love and how secrets can't stay secret for very long. It has many messages, so yes. I really hope you enjoy this. I will try to write as often as possible. And please review!!! Matt is played by the fabulously sexy Sean Faris. Pouring lots of my soul into this story (but there will be smut), so please enjoy. The beginning's OK, but will hopefully get better.  
**

**Chapter 1**

**The Beginning**

Hello. My name is Troy Bolton. I don't know if you know me, I barely know me. I'm just some random person who has lived next to you for four years. Now I'm leaving college and trying to get out of here as fast as possible. I want to tell you my story. Actually, I just wanted to tell my story. I wanted to get it off my chest. And now, since I'm telling you, maybe I'll be able to tell more people. I told the people who went to my high school and that never worked out well. So I told none of my new classmates. But I'm telling you know. The person I've lived next to who barely knows me.

I'm gay.

I am 100% gay. There is no denying it. I like men. I don't like women at all. And my first boyfriend Matt showed me this.

This story is a little gruesome with lots of imagery. So if you don't want to read about hot, steamy, gay sex, please put the letter down. I'm fine. In my mind you read my story and I finally told someone the whole truth.

My story isn't a happy one. But it isn't a sad one. It's confusing, just like my orientation. I don't really know. You could say that it's sad. You could say that it ends happily. You could also say that it ends depressingly. But that's what life is. It's just sad and happy and always contradicting itself. Life sucks in a good way. I can't explain life. All I can say is that the ending of this story will be extremely happy and heartrendingly sad. Well, you'll just have to figure that out for yourself, that is, if you are still reading this after my warning.

I'm going to start when I first found out that I found men attractive. I was almost 16 and my friend Matt was over at my house sleeping over. We've had tons of sleepovers before, nothing special. We just wanted to hang out like friends do. We've done it before. Nothing had happened at those sleepovers. I always wondered what happened at this one that made it so different.

Before I start this story I want to use two adjectives to describe Matt: open and horny. The adjective I want to use for me is confused.

The trouble and truth started while Matt was taking a shower. I had to go to the bathroom and the only toilet actually working was the one that was being occupied by the shower taker. I thought that the person in the shower was my mother. I'd seen my mother naked before, she'd seen me naked before, so I walked in to take a piss. I'd done this before so I didn't care.

I walked in to realize that Matt was the completely naked body showering. My first thought was, of course, _Why didn't he lock the door?_ Then I remembered that he was quite open. My next thought was, _The water compliments his muscles quite nicely. _I realized that was a pretty gay statement, but I didn't really care. All I really cared about was his body.

His skin was a pretty dark tan. His hair was dark, short, and matted. His neck was large and made him sort of look like a football player (although he was a basketball player). His face was perfection in teenage heartthrob form. He had a small mole above his lip. This small imperfection made the perfection even more of a perfection, because who wants pure pretty boy? His shoulders glistened under the water. His chest was to die for. It was large and perfectly shaped. I couldn't describe why it was perfectly shaped, it just was. I wanted to rub my fingers over his dark pink nipples. His abs was bulging, symmetrical, and just pure amazing. His arms swung nicely in their muscular form. And then there was his penis. It was flaccid, but it was still enormous. It hung there, urging to be touched. His muscled, hairy legs went for miles and were a perfect ending to the sight I was seeing.

I then thought _Why do I like this? Why is he so attractive? Oh my God, am I gay? _I could feel the tightness in my pants that I was deeply ashamed of. In one split second I found my same sex best friendly irrevocably attractive. How could this be? There were no warning signs. No small steps. Just one large, "I like men" step. But why? I had no idea what was going on at the moment, but I really enjoyed it. I really did like men and I wasn't too angry at myself. My parents weren't conservative naïve idiots. They would still love me. I had never been this hard in my life.

Matt realized I had been staring. "Well, if you're going to be in here, can you at least be helpful and pass me the soap?" he asked. I turned around to grab the soap on the counter, but I didn't want to. I wanted to stand there and watch him forever. I wanted to be in this moment forever. But I couldn't. Eventually I would get bored or my libido would end it himself. Awkwardly into my pants.

My hand shook as I passed Matt the soap. I stupidly looked down for a second and Matt noticed. He grabbed his massive sword and said, "I know it's big. Be jealous." I was jealous. Jealous that it was in his hands and not mine. But why would I want that? Why would I want to give him a hand job? I had never done that before, so how would I know if I liked it? Why did it arouse me?

I quickly left the bathroom, my pants about to explode from the pressure. The real torturous bliss didn't start until somewhere near one in the morning. We were doing one of Matt's favorite pastimes: masturbate to porn. At the time I didn't know why Matt didn't just go find a girlfriend. He must have gotten lots of offers. He can't like masturbating. I didn't know at the time that he didn't like girls. I didn't know that secretly he was staring at the guys and getting off on them. It was so secret, not even Matt knew.

We were watching one of Matt's favorite movies with both of our flies unzipped and both of our hands on our poles. I know, we masturbated together. And it was only weird the first time. After that, we got used to each other. We were both too horny.

I was sitting a little behind Matt so that he wouldn't realize that I wasn't actually watching the movie but that I was watching Matt's penis and his ever so graceful hand as it slid up and down him. I suddenly got that quivering feeling that I have felt so many times before. I tried to stop myself, but I just couldn't let go, couldn't stop pumping. I slowed down as the come escaped me.

Matt looked at me and the mess I had made. He laughed. "Wimp," he said. "You can hold on for long." He turned around and continued pumping.

Suddenly, and "Ow!" escaped from Matt's mouth.

I asked what was wrong and he said he had cut himself on his zipper. He then asked in his adorable puppy dog face, "Would you, maybe, want to finish me off? I can't stop now, but my hand hurts so much."

"Then use your other hand!" I asked, disgusted and aroused.

"I hurt it today in basketball," he answered.

"Oh, all right," I said in my terrible I-don't-want-to-but-secretly-I-totally-do voice. I grabbed his large, erect penis and started rubbing. I moved my head toward the screen but my eyes were glued to his crotch. He moaned and I went faster and faster. It ended quickly. His cock shook wildly as his come flew upward. Some hit my face. I was slightly happy. A little touched my lip. I was curious so I stuck my tongue out and grabbed the come. I enjoyed it a lot. It tasted good actually. I don't know why though.

After he stopped breathing hard, he asked me if I wanted to play Madden. I accepted the offer, extremely happy that I had just made Matt come, even if he was watching the screen. In my mind, his eyes stared at me.

**I really hoped you liked it. More is on the way. More smut. Nice, good, steamy smut. And depression. AKA drama!!! So yeah. I think this story will work out. The problem is I have like three other ideas for stories and don't know if I can do them all at once. Gahh!!! I don't want to abandon my Jacward story, but I might for the time being. And then there's a Mike Newton story I want to write. I will hopefully be done with all of these sometime in the future. Just please review and enjoy. **


	2. Obsession

**I am very disappointed in my fans. Seriously? How many reviews have I gotten on this story? I'll tell you how many reviews. Three reviews. THREE!!! If you want more of my story, you're seriously going to have to review more. If you don't review, than I feel as though my story isn't worth it. Please, PLEASE!, review.**

**Chapter 2**

**Obsession**

That night I had an odd dream. A dream that makes you disgusted; but at the same time makes you bunch your sheets together from the happiness. It was a dream that makes you have an epiphany. I dreamt I was at school sitting next to the beautiful Matt. I stared at him and started to get aroused. I looked down to realize that I was completely naked. I tried to hide myself and my protruding shame. The girl next to me yelled, "Troy has an erection! Troy has an erection!" I was completely embarrassed and shivering. I felt so out of place from everyone else. Then all of the girls in my class started to move towards me. They touched me and groped me and I tried to curl into a ball and wished for the blood to retreat from my penis. I didn't want these girls to touch me, I wanted Matt to touch me. I wanted his large hands to caress my chest and abs. I wanted his full, soft lips to part mine. The girls just got closer and closer and they started rubbing my area. Suddenly, a yell came from Matt. I looked over and saw him completely naked as well. The girls ran away and Matt body hugged me. Our privates touched as we felt each other's bodies.

I awoke at around six in the morning with something that could hold a tent up protruding from my blanket. Across the way, I could see Matt sleeping silently; looking so peaceful and horridly beautiful. He was too close for comfort, yet at the same time, not close enough.

I felt ashamed at the dream I had. How dare I put Matt in that way. If Matt didn't feel the same way, then let him be. I could have lived in my own torture. But I felt really good about this. The sun was just starting to rise and the light hit Matt so perfectly. Matt turned in his sleep and his naked torso was revealed. I realized I had begun to massage the tip of my penis. He had no signs of awakening and I didn't know if I could stop.

I wrapped my hand around the entirety of my shaft and began rubbing swiftly. I stared as his chest slowly rose, letting the air fill him. I noticed his beautiful abs stretch to let him breathe. I noticed his adorable face smile as he dreamed. My hand quickly went from tip to shaft and my body quivered.

Suddenly, the sticky white substance erupted from me as I looked at him for one more time and remembered the feeling of his hard on. I quickly cleaned up and tried to go back to sleep.

At first, I hadn't realized how obsessed I was with him. I thought it was just a harmless crush. I had no idea how serious it was. I would think of Matt doing certain things to my body. My relationship with my penis had grown stronger since I started thinking more and more about Matt. I had more and more dreams about him.

I dreamt everyone in school found out I had a crush on Matt and they all made fun of me except Matt. Then we would kiss and everything would be fine. I dreamt about him holding my hand as we lay on the soft grass staring into each other's eyes. The dreams kept getting more and more romantic and less and less erotic. And that scared me. Could I love another man? Could that actually possible? I thought homosexuality was all about sex. Could there be an actual thing as bromance?

The only thing about my dreams that stayed the same was the way it ended. It always ended with a very sad emotion boiling through me mixed with overwhelming joy while I clung to something on the bed tightly as if that article was him. And there of course was the erection rubbing against my bed.

I couldn't help myself. I was falling more and more in love with the man who I never thought would love me back. Why would God do this? How could he make such a beautiful emotion and at the same time never finish the creation of it, the love back. The thought that Matt doesn't like men tormented me. How could that actually be? My feelings for him were so strong, so powerful, how could they never be fulfilled? I thought that my love would only remain something mental and never be brought up to its full physical possibilities.

My thoughts toward sodomy had changed drastically, the reason being that I had never actually thought of sodomy. It was just something I never thought of before. Why would someone choose anal sex when there is an organ specifically for sex? But after I ventured into the unknown territory that was gay porn, I thought otherwise. The noises erupted from the men whose bodies were being penetrated were so…appealing. There was no sense of pain in their voice. They were yelps of ecstasy. But how could that be? Their assholes were being ripped apart. I learned online that the actual act of anal sex is actually quite pleasant if you do it correctly (I learned later that those words are an understatement and that the feeling of the act is so invigorating and so cosmic that you cannot actually describe it). I realized I wanted to try it for myself.

I could no longer look at Matt anymore. It was too hard to look at him without wanting to pounce on him or blab my true feelings about him. That was the worst part; not telling anyone. The feeling killed me inside. But what could I do? I didn't want anyone knowing how I felt about a man. Homosexuality is sort of frowned upon in my school. Every time I looked at him it turned to staring which turned to fantasizing. Life seemed so hard. I tried to stay away from him as much as possible. But that was too hard. He was too big a part of my life. I still hung out with him, but every single millisecond of that paradise was pure torment.

But every time he walked by my heart melted. Every time his smooth, silky, manly voice radiated from his mouth my entire body warmed up. Loneliness is cold and his presence was my blanket. I wanted him so bad. I just wanted to touch him. I wanted to be near him. I wanted him to love me back. And that killed me inside.

I must say now that I never felt that homosexuality was wrong. I was never ashamed of myself because of my love towards men. I found it odd because who doesn't find it odd when you grow up with the pop culture status quo saying boys should like girls. But I quickly accepted myself and learned that I actually did like men. I learned that I didn't like women when Gabriella got naked for me. Gabriella was my last girlfriend. She stripped and I felt nothing. I knew she felt beautiful, but still, nothing. I lied and said that it was stress.

Soon the only things I ever really thought about were Matt and basketball (but a reason for the latter was that Matt was on the basketball team). When my grades started slipping I had to concentrate on those, but mainly my thoughts were on Matt. Every single moment, conscience or not, was dreaming about Matt. His luscious arms, his full lips, his perfect features, his tantalizing muscles. I wondered what he was doing and what he was thinking. I wanted to always be where he was.

One day during class, Matt gave a presentation. I had to hold on for dear life to my desk so that I didn't go and tackle him to the ground. I stared at his body as he gave the presentation. I looked as his lips moved in an elegant fashion. I imagined my hands sliding through his blackish hair. I stared at his delicate eyes and perfect straight yet round nose. I watched as his Adam's apple slowly and enticingly moved up and down. I had no idea that Adam's apples were so exciting. I listened to the silky, deep voice emanate from behind those full dark pink lips of his. I could see the outline of his chest and wanted to squeeze them. I was so in love I didn't know what to do. I just wanted him so badly. I imagined kissing those lips and that almost killed me inside. How could he not love me back? I'd be more than willing to donate some of my love to him. I just wanted him both physically and mentally. I just couldn't understand why he didn't love me back.

This story was a bit traumatic, although it really wasn't. I was just naive and stupid. I had no idea what was really going on. Well, I knew what was happening, but I had no idea what was going to happen in the future. We were in the locker room, and Matt had taken off his shirt. I of course was really excited just to see him near me, let alone slightly naked. He was moving his shoulders up and down and wincing. He said, "Awww...I'm so tense."

I really wanted to help him. I didn't want to see him in any sort of pain. And also it was an excuse to touch him. "I can help you," I said.

"Really?" he asked.

"Oh yeah," I said, my voice trembling a little bit, but trying to hide it, "I have hands that can release so much stress."

"Oh really?" he asked. "Well go ahead." I stood behind him and grasped his shoulders. My fingers pushed deep into his skin. I found several knots and massaged them quite liberally. I noticed that my face was slowly going towards his, but luckily he didn't notice. That was when the pain started. My fingers moved briskly on top of his soft, hot skin. I felt his hard muscles and lightly smelled his perfect scent. My movements were filled with love and gratitude, trying to pronounce myself to him. I listened to his breathing, and the problem was there. He only breathed. No moans. No signs of approval. Just a slight tense of the eyes.

I must say from experience that the most painful thing in the world is unrequited love. Nothing tears you up inside more than not being loved.I felt like I was about to die. I felt like I was going to explode or something terrible would have happened. I felt like life was not worth living. My psyche was breaking in half as I trembled uncontrollably. I had to let go of Matt for fear that I would be found out. I felt like throwing up. I felt like just dieing on the spot. Love is the most bipolar emotion in human existence. Sometimes just being near him I felt like everything in the world was fine. And sometimes I just felt like there was nothing worth in the world. This moment was that of the latter.

The worst part was that he was so close to him. If I wanted to, I could have held him. I could have hugged him as tight as possible and cried my eyes out. I could have expressed all of my feeling at that moment, but I couldn't. I so wanted to just feel every single inch of his body, just touch him and never let of him, but I couldn't. I just couldn't. If there was ever the want to have one thing so badly you'd do anything for that, it would be now. I just wanted to let everything go. Just let the flood gates open. But I couldn't. I ran out as soon as possible. I got home as soon as possible. I ran into my room and cried. I cried for several hours and just let everything go. I screamed my feelings for Matt out into the open. And whilst I cried, a portion of me wished that Matt was outside listening or somewhere inside waiting for me. I just wanted him to know and for him to hold me. Two years before I thought it was a harmless crush and now I cried for him. Like most of the feelings I felt in this letter, I can't fully explain the intensity I felt. So just try to imagine it, because I really don't.

And the funny part was: everything would sort of work out in the end. Emphasis on sort of.

The feelings inside of me at that time were too overwhelming. I really wanted Matt. It was then in my mind I thought that if these feelings were this strong then there must be a reason for them. These crazy thoughts were the push to make me do what I did.

Why did I give him a hand job? I have to wonder, if that never happened, would I have ever ended up gay?

**How was that? Did you like it? PLEASE REVIEW!!! YEARG! COME ON! I AM GETTING PISSED AT YOU GUYS! IF YOU READ, THEN REVIEW IT!!! AAAAAAAHHH!!! But the next chapter will be REALLY sexy! I promise! And wasn't that last part super depressing? I thought so, but don't take my word. How about you tell me yourself!!!  
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	3. How Matt Found Out

**While I'm waiting for my reviews (hint, hint), here is one of the sexiest chapters ever. This will put the Zac Efron shower pictures to use. Yes, those sexy pictures that I know everyone are looking at. I know you like those pics. I really like those pics. I was about to explode as soon as I saw those pics. They are just so AMAZING! That said, I am going to write another shower scene that won't end in a way that you will not like. Sorry, no penetration, but it is steamy! If you'd like to see these pictures and other pictures of the characters I have made, go to my flickr page: ****/photos/32020553N06/**

**Chapter 3**

**How Matt Found Out**

This next portion of my letter will be written in the form of Matt. If you didn't know, Matt had a diary. He gave me his diary to tell me all about the feelings he felt for me. I will stop the story from time to time to tell you my side of the story.

* * *

Hello Diary. I haven't written in you for a while. You know if I find life boring I won't write anything and only start when I find a new turn in life. Well today there was a giant turn around in my life. Diary, I think I may be gay.

The whole thing seemed like a blur. There was steam everywhere and it all felt dreamlike. Maybe it was just a dream and none of it happened. But I can never find out because the only person who would know would be Troy and I am not going to talk to Troy about it.

Yes my gay escapade happened with Troy. That sexy hunk that has been my best friend since before I can remember.

Jesus I am gay. I'm already thinking he's sexy. It all just happened so fast. My brain wasn't functioning correctly and I don't know what happened today. It was so unreal what happened. And I felt so comfortable with everything happening. Why did I feel comfortable? I felt more comfortable than I have ever felt in my life. How could this actually be? I'm not gay. But how can I not be when every five seconds the picture of Troy's naked body shoots into my head?

What happened was this. Troy and I were the last ones at basketball practice (as usual). I was sweating badly so I decided to take a shower like usual. I got in the shower and started lathering up. A normal shower until Troy walked in. There is a sort of code that if there is another man in the shower, you stay as far away as possible by getting the farthest shower. Troy didn't seem to want to follow this code and got the shower right next to me. The horribly amazing thing about our showers is that they aren't stalls. They're just a bunch of showerheads in a large room. You can see everything.

* * *

I'm going to pause for a second to say what was going through my mind when this happened. I felt that since I loved Matt so much at least a portion of him had to love me back as well. I wanted to show him the truth. I wanted to make him understand that he was gay. And the only way I could do that was to show my body to him.

I walked into the locker room obsessively thinking about Matt. I, of course, couldn't get him off my mind. As I walked to my locker to get my soap and shampoo, I thought of Matt playing basketball without a shirt on. I stared at the muscles moving in sync with his body. I thought of him pounding into me and that was when I had to tell myself to stop.

I walked into the shower area and almost dropped everything. There stood my Matt butt naked. I stared at this beauteous image for a while. I stared at his ass clenching together as he lathered up. I stared as the soapy water slid down his back. God, did he make me horny. Not thinking on common sense, I took the showerhead right next to his. I stared at his adorable face. His lip quivered. Did that mean he liked me here? Or did he find it awkward that I had a raging boner? His hair was in shambles as he massaged his scalp. I couldn't stop myself. I started rubbing my own body.

* * *

I stared at Troy for a second. Something seemed a bit awkward here. It wasn't a boner, I was used to those. I'd seen him hard before. We'd masturbated together before. What was it?

Suddenly, a light went off in my head. I actually _liked_ to see Troy hard. He was stunning. I started to become confused. How could this be? How could I find a man attractive? I liked girls! But the more I stared, the more I got turned on. It all happened so fast. One moment I liked girls, the next I imagined Troy touching me in erotic ways.

My confusion began to slip when Troy started stretching. It seemed as though he wanted me to watch. I felt less and less insecure and more and more horny. Troy raised his arms up and I just stared. The water pounded hard onto his skin splashing everywhere. His muscles pulled with his arms. They were so manly and erotic. His nipples were hard and sat amazingly on his chest. His abs looked like they were personally made by God and that he was not just another human. Even his armpits were amazing. His cock stood entirely erect. It was so big! I wanted to hold it, to grab it. How had I never realized before?

The water flew everywhere and made his muscles sparkle. His eyes were closed and he smiled his little crooked smile. He looked so gorgeous. I had never seen such beauty before. How could this be? I had seen him like this all my life but was only now enjoying the splendor. Words could not describe the feeling I had towards him at this moment. I wanted to be with him forever. Be in his succulent arms forever. Feel his perfectly crafted abs forever.

He took some soap and started rubbing himself with it. He rubbed his hands over his hard, yet soft chest. He moaned a little and I liked it. His hands went everywhere. They massaged his hard nipples. They worked his hard washboard abs. He rubbed a finger through every little line between them. He groped his biceps and flexed a little. He slowly glided over his forearms and I nearly exploded. My mouth drooped at the movement of his hands. I followed them with my eyes. Then his hands slid down south. He grasped his large erection and started rubbing up and down and up and down. He grabbed his balls and started kneading them.

Suddenly, he looked over to me. The stance he was in made me almost come at the allurement of it. His hair was messy from the shower. His eyebrows were in a tempting fashion. His mouth was open a little bit to let him lightly bite his thumb. His shoulders were manly and godlike. His arms were flexed so strongly. His arm was curled up to his mouth. And the way his chest and abs looked. There is no word in the English dictionary that could even try to describe how good Troy looked at this moment. So I shall make one up. His body looked Troyish. It was then and there that I realized I may love him.

Suddenly, Troy's beautiful voice spoke to my in a tantalizing way. "I am so horny right now," he said. "Do you mind if I release myself?" His lips trembled as he talked and he sounded like he had very little confidence. But he somehow sounded like he felt completely comfortable with his surrounding. For a second, I looked down unto his crotch. His penis was incredibly large and rock hard. His shaft rose up a little bit and his head was a dark pink. There were some small veins lining it. Its width was orgasmic and its length was unimaginable. It looked so enticing. The question was: why? Why did I want to touch it? Why did it look so beautiful? It had never been so beautiful looking before. But it did now. His entire body just looked so handsome. I wanted him to be mine. I don't know why, but I wanted to hold him. Feel all of him. Touch him. Just be next to him.

"Do you mind?" he asked again.

"Ahh…sure," I said, my voice cracking. I just stared as his hand slowly retreated to his cock. His fingers clasped against himself slowly. His hand leisurely went up and down his long erection. He threw his head back and moaned. I stared as his Adam's apple went up and down his neck. His other hand massaged his torso and pinched his nipple. He licked his lips.

* * *

For the record, I was thinking about feeling every part of Matt…with my tongue.

* * *

His hand went faster and faster. He squeezed his chest and moved his hands over his abs as if he were playing a washboard. He moaned louder and louder. The water made him look so much more beautiful than he already did.

I moaned which made me realize that I was rubbing my head. I grabbed my entire shaft and starting rubbing fast. I couldn't control it. He looked like a sex angel. He looked like something that God made just to be beautiful. He looked so tantalizing. I had never seen such perfect muscle tone. I never wanted to let go of him. I just wanted to place my head on his pillow like chest.

We both looked into each other's eyes. It seemed like everything was slowing down and the only people in existence were us. I was about to finally grab his amazing body when someone walked into the room. Both of us suddenly went flaccid. The entire mood was sucked out of the room. I looked away and tried not to think of him anymore. That's when my better judgment kicked back in. I couldn't be gay. It was just a lapse in ruling. But I still can't get that image out of my head. Every time I close my eyes, I see Troy's naked body as he tries to release himself. I scared I really might be gay. Is that OK? No, no I'm not gay.

**Did you like it? I thought it was so amazingly sexy. I wish I was Matt in the situation. Have you seen those shower pictures? Go look at them now! Oh My God. Please review. There will be amazing smut in about two chapters, so please review if you want that smut!!!**

**PS Does anyone here know who the band McFly is? Because I sort of wrote a FanFic about them!!! AND IT'S HOT!!! It's pure smut, so if you want to read it, then email me. I need you to email me, because then I can attach it and it'll be easier. I'm not putting it on because there is no spot for McFly, it's pure smut (but the writing's pretty decent), and I just don't want to. So if you want it, my email is Res_Des_. You will enjoy it, so read it!!!  
**


	4. Realizing

**It's been a while. I know, I know. I am very sorry for that. I hope you all forgive me for being a terrible person. Well anyway, I hope you like this chapter. Then there will maybe be some smut for the next chapter. Enjoy!!! And sorry it's a bit short.  
**

**Chapter 4**

**Realizing**

Matt told me it took him a while for him to fall in love with me. He said he needed to figure himself out before he could love me. He said all of his emotions were so new, he couldn't really control himself. He said that it took him a couple of months to realize that men can be attracted to men and that it's perfectly fine. This is from his journal.

* * *

Diary, things have been going really, really bad. I think I may like Troy in a way I couldn't imagine. I think I finally realized it today. I had nothing to do and I was horny as hell, so I decided to jack off. I got my favorite movie out and put it in. I pulled off my pants and began the deed that I did all the time. I grasped my cock and slowly pleasured myself. I slowly rubbed up and down as I stared at the screen. I watched as the girl sucked that cock. I watched the man's expression as he winced in pleasure. I noticed his gorgeous and rippling muscles. I noticed how much those muscles were turning me on.

I watched as he plowed himself into her. He looked so gorgeous, his muscles bluging as he pushed and pushed and pushed. I stared at the man's body, which for some reason looked so beautiful. I had never thought of it as beautiful before, but he was. His body was masculine and strong and just for some reason so appealing. I had never thought that a penis was sexy, but it was. And I began to jerk off as Istared at the man, incredibly turned on. I imagined that the person looked a lot like Troy, and I got somehow harder.

That's when I stopped. Do I like Troy? No, I like women. I will always like women. I like men. I mean women! I turned off the movie, afraid of being even more sexually attracted to the same sex. My cock was throbbing and begging for my attention, wanting to be pleased. I began to rub faster and faster, wanting to end this as fast as possible. My mind began to wander as I thought about women. And then Troy popped into my head. I thought of that image I saw a couple of days ago. He was running past my house without a shirt on. He was glistening in his sweat, his muscles popping out more than ever. His gorgeous chest moved with his arms as his body moved so fluidly. Thinking about him made me go over the edge.

I shook violently as I came harder than I had ever come before. The fluid spewed out of me as I imagined me touching Troy's toned and tanned body. My come had hit the wall behind me, I was so horned up. Troy was just so amazingly sexy. I was a bit frightened that I had come so hard after thinking about my best friend. I felt really bad that I liked thinking such gay thoughts, but at the same time, I felt so in place. Was I meant to be gay? All I know is that Troy got me so hot, and I realized I really did like him like that.

**Again, sorry it was so short. Please comment, and see you next time I actually write!**


	5. First Time

**OMG finally! Here is some more of my story! Finally! The people who actually read my stuff, here it is! AND IT'S A SEX SCENE!!! HOLY CRAP YES! FUN TIME FOR ALL! Yes, Matt and Troy are about to get it on! *cue porn music* Bow chica bow wow! Honestly, who doesn't enjoy some gay porn? Some nice, smutty, sexy, hard, rough, gay sex! Well, if you're reading this, then of course you like it!!! ENJOY! And I really liked this. Not only will this get you beyond horny, but it has some sentimental value! Sorry if there are any mistakes in here.  
**

**Chapter 5**

**First Time**

You can skip this part now. That is, if you're still reading. I know not everyone tolerates gays, well, this part of the letter gets quite...dirty. For all I know, this letter is in the trash, so it doesn't even matter. But if you don't like gay sex, please don't read this. This is purely to tell you what it is like. I feel as if people don't know what we do. Well, I'm telling you now. You have been warned.

This is from Matt's journal. He showed it to me when we were officially together. When I read it I was so flattered, and pretty horny. Enjoy.

* * *

It happened, Diary. Dear God, it happened. It happened after basketball practice. Troy and I were the last ones on the court, as usual. Actually, we were there for about three hours after practice had ended. Long ago, the other members have left and went home to jerk off (because that's all they do), while Troy and I played one on one.

The entire time, I was thinking about Troy. I imagined him doing so many different things to me, sexing me up like crazy. He was so goddamned sexy, I couldn't help it. Honestly, he is pretty much the most perfect thing in the entire world. No...no he's not, and I'm not gay.

It's so hard to remember what happened without having a minor panic attack. And honestly, I continue to find myself rubbing my cock with the image running through my mind. But no, I'm not gay. This can't be. I can't be horny from what happened. I'm not gay!

What happened was Troy and I were playing basketball, and Troy was sweating so beautifully. His skin glistened under the lights. And then, of course, the devil decided to tempt me. He said, "God, I'm so hot, aren't you? I'm sweating like crazy." He slowly and tantalizingly pulled off his shirt. God, his muscles moved so amazingly. His abs stuck out and his arms bulged. God, I would do so many things to that God. He's just so undeniably sexy. No...no he's not! "Do you mind?" he asked.

"Uhh...no..." I gulped, trying not to show the strain in my voice. He took the ball and ran to the other end of the court. Good God, I was horny. His hairy legs moved so swiftly, his body moving so gracefully. My nails were digging into my legs, trying not to whip it out at that moment and just jerk. I've never been harder in my life and it was so hard to control myself.

And then he turned around. Dear God, he turned around. His face suddenly turned into a state of confusion as he looked down at my crotch. I looked down, and sure enough, I was pitching the highest tent I have ever done in my life. I was so embarrassed, my cock making the biggest bulge in the entire world. I would have put my hands in front of my crotch, but I know if I did that, then I would grab my cock from the outside of my pants and start rubbing like mad, eventually coming hard in my shorts. Oh God, I had never been more horny. My cock was twitching pretty much every five seconds.

He looked so cute as he asked, "What the hell is going on?"

I didn't want to tell the truth, so I said nothing. I just stood there awkwardly, imagining me fucking his brains out. "Are you...hard...for me?" he asked.

I couldn't lie, and for some reason, I just had to say something. "Yes," I answered.

"Do you wanna fuck me?" he asked. He was less than a foot away. I could feel his breath on my face.

"Yes," I answered. His lips were suddenly on mine, his arms pulled around me. His hands frisked everywhere, as did I. Our lips moved furiously against the other. He held me tightly, but it wasn't close enough. He pulled away for a little bit, long enough to take off my shirt. He practically ripped the shirt off, which sort of hurt, and threw the shirt far away. He reattached himself to me, our shirtless bodies rubbing against each other. His sweaty skin scraped against mine, his muscles touching mine. His sweaty skin was so soft and hot and silky. His muscles pushed against me as his lips practically ate mine. His tongue battled with mine as his arms held tight to my body. It was so amazing and gorgeous and beautiful. Our skin feeling the other, our sweat mixing, our hormones raging. It was all just the best thing ever. But it shouldn't have. He was another man. I couldn't like to do this with another man. I shouldn't like his rock hard cock hitting mine, his male genetalia which I have already seen already and wanted to see again. I wanted to do things to his cock. Feel it, suck it, touch it, make him come, fuck his tight ass. I wanted to do so many things to this purely sex man who was the most beautiful thing ever. It was just so...I can't explain it. This one moment was the most special thing ever. I hated it. I hated liking it. I hated feeling horny, thinking about his hot skin touching mine, his tongue in my mouth, his giant cock trying to get to mine. I wanted him so badly, and I hate that I wanted him like that.

He pulled back and smiled at me. God, his smile was so beautiful. His blue eyes stared into mine, his brownish hair matted down and sweaty. His face was so incredibly cute and it was just so miraculous. He was cute and handsome and manly and just the most gorgeous thing ever. And...he smiled at me. A couple inches away and I could see his entire brightened face. His smile was almost contagious. He had a sort of dimple on his cheek and his smile was radiant. The image of that smile is burned into my memory. When I close my eyes, I see that sickeningly sweet smile. That drop dead gorgeous hunk smiled at me. His rock hard abs pushing against my stomach, he smiled one hell of a smile. It was as if he just had everything he ever wanted in his entire life. It was as if he had gotten what he wanted after striving for so hard. It was as if he had endured so much torture, and this smile was showing that he finally felt happiness. It was a smile of satisfaction and of being fulfilled. Dear God, I feel as if I fell in love with that smile. Something is wrong with me. Oh God, I can't help but think about it now. It was adorable and cute and the most amazing smile ever. I could stare at those pearly whites, those dimples, that emotion put behind that smile. I could just stare at him forever.

His skin was so warm looking. Of course he was burning up, but his obviously tanned body showed the heat that his body gave to me. His skin was clear and perfect and smooth. His complexion was fantastic. His skin was as tight as a drum against his skin. God, I can't stop talking about him. I can't stop thinking about him and I can't stop imagining him with me, his arms wrapped around me, his lips lightly against mine. Dear God, what is wrong with me? I can't stop this! I want it to stop!

He asked, "Are you ready for this?" with that perfect smile plastered on his face.

"Yes," I answered, noticing how fast this was going.

"I...think I love you," he said, that smile just showing it all. Overwhelmed, I pulled him back against me and slammed my lips on his.

* * *

Before we continue, I want to show you my side of the story. When I first saw Matt hard, I was confused. Normally, when playing basketball, he's never thinking about porn or girls, he' thinking about basketball. Yet I turn around and he has a bulge as tall as Mount Everest. He looked so amazing when I saw him. He looked all confused and awkward and horny. It was then that it hit me: maybe he was actually hard...for me. It was my dream for quite a while and I wanted it to be true. So I asked him if he wanted to fuck me.

And when he said yes, it was the best moment of my entire life. It was awkward the way he said, and cute beyond words. It was as if I was finally let free. It was like I had been practicing as hard as possible, endured so much pain just to win the game, and when I hear the buzzer and look at the scoreboard, telling me that I've won, it was like that except ten times better.

I was so overwhelmed, the only thing that was going on in my mind was a voice practically screaming, "Kiss him!" So I did. I snaked my arms around his waist and planted my firm lips on his. All I really remember is thinking, "His lips are so moist. And God, could his cock be any harder? It's practically stabbing me! God, this kiss is amazing, but I'm just not close enough." That's when I took off his shirt. I stared for a split second, because I wanted to taste his mouth again, but I was able to sneak a peek. His muscles were just so perfect! They were shaped by the Gods they were so delicious looking.

I kissed him, making the oddest of noises, moans and groans and the sound of our lips feeling each other as our tongues moved wildly. God, my hands were everywhere! I had had this image burned into my memory for so long, I was finally able to fully appreciate it. No longer was I just jerking off and thinking about it, I was actually touching it! I was able to feel the texture, actually enjoy my favorite work of art!

I was so excited, I started to kiss his stomach. I felt everything I could see. Man, I could just feel his torso for hours, but no. I wanted to get to the good stuff. He was pure hunk with these manly muscles that I had drooled over for so long, but I needed to have him another way. So I licked down his abs, taking some time at his belly button, and pulled down his shorts faster than I've ever pulled down shorts before.

* * *

That's right, Diary, he blew me. He fucking sucked me off! And that's not even the best part (even though all of it should be horrid to me). He said, "Let's lube you up for some real fun," and then started licking my cock. He laughed a smutty laugh as his tongue twirled around my member. His eyes looked up at me as I moaned and tried to look back at him, but my head kept pulling itself back in pleasure.

Then his mouth engulfed the entire thing and I shuddered. I was about to explode right there, but I couldn't. That would end the fun, and the fun had just begun (oh God, I'm calling it fun!). I put my hands on his head and pushed him into it until I heard him gag. I felt the vibrations on my cock which shook my entire body.

He pulled it out to say, "That should be good." He pulled me over to the basketball hoop. He pulled down his basketball shorts and his giant erection swung up. Good God it was big. I wanted to touch it, to feel it. God, it was huge! I had no idea how big it was and I wanted it. He turned around and bent over. With his hands grasping the basketball support, he spread his cheeks wide. He had one sexy ass, and I just wanted to squeeze it.

I just stood there, my hand in my cock, feeling how incredibly hard it was. Man it was hard. My hand was getting sticky from all the precum that had covered my hands.

He turned his head around and his blue eyes stared back at me. Those adorable blue eyes. They were unbelievable. I stopped jerking and began staring at his amazing body, completely naked. "Are you going to do it?" he asked.

"Uhhh..." I gasped, not knowing what to actually say. "Yeah." I moved over to him and placed my saliva covered cock at his entrance. I had no idea what to do. Wasn't I supposed to prep him or something? I had no idea. I was slightly disgusted about sticking my cock up his ass, but I was just so horny. People had done it before, it should be fine. Why was I complaining? I was about to fuck the Troy Bolton, the one I was starting to idiotically fall for.

I decided, what the hell, and rammed my cock into his ass. He almost yelled. "Are you OK?" I asked.

"Not too rough," he answered. I replied by slowly pushing in, feeling the muscles in his ass slowly loosen. I finally got it all the way in as Troy groaned a mix of pain and pleasure. It sounded like he was in a hell of a lot of pain, but he didn't tell me to stop. So I slowly moved out of him and then back in. Finally I got a rythym going. Good God he was tight. I could barely fit, and he squeezed my cock so good. Not to mention it was really warm. It was just amazing.

As I plowed into him, I realized that we weren't close enough. I wanted to feel more of that soft and sweaty skin, so I bent over and body hugged him as I fucked his ass. He suddenly jolted when I pushed in and he moaned so loudly. It was amazing. I had never heard such a noise. My hands wrapped around him. With one hand, I felt his sweaty chest and abs. With the other, I grabbed his cock and started jerking.

"You like that?" I panted.

"Yeah," he gasped, his voice cracked and high pitched.

"You like it when I fuck your tight ass with my massive cock?"

"Oh yeah," he answered with the sound of pure pleasure.

"You like it up the ass? You like it when I grab your giant cock and rub? You like it when I feel your hot and dirty skin? You like it when I pant in your ear? You like it when plow your ass good?"

"Fuck yeah."

"You wanna come?"

"Please," he begged. I fucked him harder and jerked faster. He gasped loudly and moaned even louder. He was gonna come, I could tell. His ass was tighter than ever and his cock was so wet with precome and so hard.

I never stopped. I should have stopped. I just kept going. He yelled, "I'm gonna come!" and I should have stopped there. But no, I pushed harder and felt my entire self release into him. I felt my come shoot deep inside him as my entire body shivered and I half-yelled half-moaned, "Troy!"

Then I heard him make the same noise, but he said, "Fuck, Matt!" And then I felt his entire body tighten. I felt his come shoot right into my finger as I was grazing over the hole of his cock. I just let everything go in that one moment and just let my body do what it was meant to do. I released myself into Troy as I held onto him for dear life. Every single nerve was on fire as I reached euphoria, feeling pure bliss and pleasure.

And as I was panting, trying to catch my breath, spreading Troy's come all over his abs, that's when everything turned horrible.

**Dear God, what have I done? I've ended the chapter with this cliff hanger, and only God knows when I'll get the next chapter out! I've disappointed my fans! Oh well, you know you need to review and how you came in your pants or whatnot. Just please tell me how hot that was! Dear Lord, I am so fucking hard! Well, gotta go come hard from my horniness! While I do that, how about you guys go review?**

**And damn it! By writing this chapter, I have become re-obsessed with this story! Which is good for my fans because they get more chapters quickly, but now, I will be doing less of my homework and more of this story! Oh well! And yes, this story will get hot again. And yes, the actual story will come back, and it will be good! If you didn't realize, THERE'S ABOUT TO BE A PLOT TWIST! And then some sadness and depression and anger, then some SECKS! And then some MORE SECKS! And then ROMANTIC BEAUTINESS LOVEY DOVEY! And then MORE SECKS! And then sadness, yet happiness. And then SECKS! And then the story is over. **

**So that's the story line to come! WOOT!  
**


	6. When it All Went Wrong

**OMG I'm already done with another chapter? Wow, I really must love my fans (I do!). And also, I must love this story (I do!). So anyway, here's another chapter. Get ready to hate me, for it's about to get really bad...So review! PLEAZEZ?!**

**Chapter 6**

**When It All Went Wrong**

The next moment was when everything started to crumble. One moment, one tiny moment of happiness, and then it all just disappears, destroyed for some reason. I had Matt for a good twenty minutes and then suddenly, it all goes wrong.

It's actually hard to remember what happened next without being paralyzed from a panic attack. It was all so rushed and so unneeded. There was no point. Why did God have to hate me so much? Why did he have to make this happen to me?

All right. Although it pains my pyche to retell this story, it's a story I need to tell. Even though I am practically shivering from my stupidity and anger and panic, I'll tell it. What happened was Matt and I were sweating, his large arms surrounding me, his burning body smothering me. He was still inside of me as he slowly rubbed my stomach. I remember feeling hot, sticky, sweaty, dirty, and fully pleased. Maybe that's why it happened, because God deemed I had felt too much happiness and I wasn't allowed anymore.

As we panted, my body trying to recover itself, the door opens. The fucking locked door to the gym opens, and guess who walks in. The person I would have least wanted to walk in: my father. That's right, the coach of the basketball team, the person who raised me and loved me, walks in at the worst moment in all of history. He walked in on me completely naked. The only thing I was wearing were my shoes, Matt, and my come, which had seemed to cover quite a lot of the basketball pole. Me, completely naked, my cock still pretty hard, with Matt still lightly rubbing it. Not to mention Matt was still deep inside of me. Me and all my pride and shame and secrets were there, out in the open for my fucking father to see.

The next thing seemed like a blur. I guess I tried to repress what happened next, and I can only remember bits and pieces of it. I remember the shock setting in, my eyes locking in with my dad's. I remember Matt suddenly pulling away from me, and I felt as his cock quickly ripped out of me. I remember my dad sort of tearing up, trying to exit the door which wouldn't seem to open. I remember Matt mumbling, "This was a mistake. I'm not gay. No, I shouldn't have done this. I'm straight."

I remember Matt pulling on his clothes as fast as I took them off. I remember him trying to walk out, his body most likely still sticky with his semen. I remember imagining how uncomfortable his crotch must be, his come and my ass spreading all over the inside of his work-out shorts. And I clearly remember me grabbing him by the shoulder and turning around. And I remember the look on his face. It was a look of confusion and anger and fulfillment. It was the worst face I had ever seen him wear, and I've seen quite a few of his faces. I distinctly remember him yelling, as I tried to comfort him, "Get away from me Troy! Never talk to me again! Or look at me again!"

And the worst part of it was, as he walked out of the gym, still very sweaty and adorable, I heard him mutter, "Faggot." Never in my entire life had I felt bad about being who I was. Never did I truly hate myself. Sure, I knew I made mistakes, but never before did I actually want to be someone else. Never before did I truly hate who I was. I was fine with being gay. I was fine with liking Matt. And then, because of that one word, I actually felt ashamed for liking Matt.

I walked into the locker room and decided to clean off. I remember sulking as I walked into the showers and turned them on. For about 10 minutes, I just stood there, under the burning shower. I let the water clean me, hoping it would rid myself of the torment brewing inside of me. I remembered at that one moment the time Matt and me jerked in the shower. It was the first time I actually thought Matt might like me back. It was out first actually gay experience.

And you know what I did? I leaned over and I cried. With my body still dirty as the water did as best as it could, I bent down to the ground and sobbed. I let all of it and let my body just release itself. I cried heavily for quite a while, realizing I had just lost what I had been craving for such a long time. I had never cried that much before. Not only did I lose Matt, I would never be able to see him again and my parents knew. They were lenient and I knew they loved me, but would they love me enough? Would they be able to accept me and continue to care for me, despite who _I_ loved?

I knew my life was practically over, and I didn't know what to do. So I finished my shower, put on some clean clothes, got a throw away towel, and cleaned off my mess. It was hard to clean since it was sort of dried, but I did the best I could, trying to hold back the tears. I couldn't believe this had happened. I wondered that if my dad didn't walk in, would it have been different? Would Matt and I be kissing at that moment, being in love? Or would Matt still have hated me?

I had no idea what to do and that scared me. The fact that I didn't know what was going to happen frightened me. I doubted Matt would ever come back, and I had no idea if I was still welcome in my home. I just wanted to know if everything was going to be all right and if I was going to be able to be happy again.

All I knew was that the only was I was going to learn was if I just kept going on with my life.

**Not my longest chapter, I'll give you that, but it was quite emotional. Come on, tell me what you think! I really want to know if you liked it since it would make me feel better. Even criticisms make me feel better since it means you're reading and that you care to make me a better writer. JUST NO FLAMES. Thank you, and hope for a new chapter quite soon! I know I do!**

**Much more is to come, I promise you! The story has just begun! WELCOME TO MY EFFED UP BRAIN!  
**


	7. The Talk

**Oh my goodness, another chapter? People asked for it, so I am giving it to them! ANOTHER CHAPTER! I hope you all love it and comment your heart out! Please? For me? You know, I won't write it if you don't comment, so comment the hell out of this story! Please? And don't get angry at me for this please...**

**Chapter 7**

**"The Talk"**

The only real place I could go was home. I had nowhere to go. I was afraid to go to anyone's house and I didn't really want to go anywhere except for Matt's house. Yet I doubt I'd be allowed in Matt's house. And for some reason, I'm pretty sure my house was the safest place. Even though I had no idea what my father actually thought of me, home was the best place. I know my dad was shocked. I'd be shocked if I walked in on my son, completely naked, his come everywhere, and one of his best friends having his cock up my son's ass.

So I decided to go home. I was hesitant beyond belief, but I eventually had to go home. There was nowhere else to go, so I just had to go home. I had to face my father eventually, so why not now? I went home as slow as possible, weighing all of the outcomes possible in what was going to happen tonight. I knew my dad was going to talk about it, but what would he say? Would he still love me? Would he hate me? Would he kick me out? Was he so shocked that he just blocked it out of his mind? So many different possibilities flooded my mind.

But eventually, I got home. Time passed and I wasn't stuck in that moment before it could get any worse. Before any consequences could actually sink in. At that moment I was safe.

When I entered the house, I was immediately confronted by my dad. I'm pretty sure he was waiting for me at the home so we could talk. "Troy," he said hesitantly as well, but still quite firmly.

"Uh, hi," I said, trying to run away as fast as possible, but knowing I couldn't. My heart was racing. My body sweat as I nearly fainted from the pressure of the conversation bound to happen. I felt tired and jolted at the same time as my stomach punched itself. I was about to fall over from all this confusion, disgrace, paranoia, and fear.

"We need to talk," he said.

"I...I know," I stuttered, horribly afraid.

"Sit down over here," he said, motioning over to the couch. I did as I was told, seeing as it was my father. "I'd like to talk about what I saw." He said it so bluntly, as if there was practically nothing going on between those numb looking eyes. He was not giving anything away, and I was freaking out.

"Yes?" I had no idea how to respond, and this was a natural response, coming out of my mouth before I could stop it.

"Before we start this talk, I'd like to say that yes, I still do love you." I could feel a tiny weight come off my shoulders, yet I was still held down by so much stress.

"OK."

"What happened, well, we can get through this." I was afraid what he meant by this. Oh God, was he going to send me to one of those anti-gay bible camps or something? "That sounds weird. I don't really know how to word this. What I mean is, Troy, I still love you and respect your decisions." Did he think that this was a decision? Why would I want to be gay? Oh God, he is sending me to one!

"Of course, this wasn't really a decision of yours," he said, making me feel slightly better, "you can't help it if you like...men." He almost choked the last word out, and I could tell it was hard for him to say it. "You are still my son and you will always be my son. Being gay changes nothing. I know I found out on...shocking terms, but you are still my child and whatever happens to you, I'll always love you and I hope you know that."

"Thanks, dad."

"Who else knows?"

"Uh...you and Matt."

"Are you going to keep this a secret?"

"Uhh...yeah."

"Will it be hard for you to use the locker room?"

"Am I still on the team?"

"Of course you are. Now, do you need to change at another time other than everyone else? You know, to resist the urge of looking?"

"I think I can control myself."

"Good. And are you and Matt...dating?"

"No. It's a long story."

"Is Matt gay?"

"I'm not entirely sure."

"Well, you can come and talk to me about anything. Just know that. If you need help with anything, then just come to me." This is another turning point of my demise. It's at this tiny mistake, this horriblly small accident that could have been easily avoided if my dad had been paying attention. But no, more crap has to be thrown onto my life. For as my dad said the next thing he said, my mom had walked in to tell us that dinner was ready. Something she did practically every evening. Just pop her head in on her boys and tell them food was available. And as she popped into the room, my dad said this: "I know more than you think. I've actually had gay sex."

It was at this point, my mom dropped the mug she was drinking out of and spilled shock all over the floor.

**OMG what? More horribleness? What will happen? OMG!!! How about you comment, and if I feel loved enough, then maybe I will write more! All you gotta do is comment! So comment! I know this was a short chapter (again), and sadly, since I've given you so much over the past three days, I doubt much more is going to be given. So be happy with this! And comment!!!**


	8. Aftermath

**Love me please. I know I annoyed you with this really stupid comment. I got your hopes up and then what? This shit. So I'm sorry. Please do not kill me. I'm hopefully going to have a lot this next week, so virtual hugs are greatly appreciated. This is going to be very short, but I need to get my groove back. And hopefully I'll get in a sex scene!**

**Chapter 8**

**Aftermath**

I don't really remember anything after that. I was so shocked by what had happened. I became numb and all details seemed to fade. I was just a blob for a month, going in and out of school, going to basketball, and avoiding everyone. Honestly, I really avoided everyone. After that incident with Matt, I was afraid he was going to tell everyone. Of course, if he told everyone, then everyone would know that he had gay sex, but still, I was deathly afraid. I had no idea how Matt would react. He's known to gloat, and even though it does destroy his masculinity, he did pound my ass pretty hard.

Speaking of which, I couldn't stop thinking about my escapade with Matt. I thought before I was a horny hormone-ridden teenager, but good God my cock was nearly always hard. I'm not kidding you, I'd be sitting in math, and then suddenly I'd remember Matt and his hard muscles surrounding me, his soft and sweaty skin rubbing hard against me as I felt every inch of his cock in my ass as he slammed into my prostate, sending me way over the edge. In English, I was hot and flustered while learning about pronouns. I couldn't help it. He was always in my mind, that image always flooding my brain. I couldn't help what I was thinking and it was way too much. It was hard not to touch myself while doing labs in biology.

And if I thought I was in love with Matt before, that was nothing. It was full on then. I was pretty much obsessed with him now. It was like that sex brought us even closer together. I was nearly stalking him, closely following him from where he couldn't see me. I was following him everywhere, making sure he was alright. I got very jealous whenever he went near a girl, and when he went near another guy, I had to hold onto the wall so that I wouldn't rip their heads off. I didn't even want to, I subconsciously followed him everywhere, but making sure to stay a far enough distance. I wanted to stop this, but I couldn't and I hated myself for it.

And to make things even worse, my parents were going to break up. Yep. My mom flipped when my dad said what he said. She said she couldn't be married to a gay man. My father tried to explain everything, saying that it was just an experiment and that it meant nothing, but she just wouldn't listen to him. So my mom wanted to get a divorce, which was tearing me apart. I thought it was all my fault, which just made things worse. I thought that my life was just one big screwup and absolutely everything about it was my fault. My best friend wouldn't go near me and I was tearing my family apart. I couldn't believe what was happening to me and just wanted to know why God would punish me so.

My life was out of control. I couldn't stop what was happening to me, but luckily, this was pretty much the worst thing that happened to me yet. After this giant dip, things started to get better, but it took such a long time to get back to happiness. I was just in a state of depression for so long.

**God damn, that was incredibly short. I'm sorry for that. I would have written more, but sorry, unless I get a huge swarm of reviews, I...have sort of given up on this story. I mean I know where this is going to go, but I don't know how. There is a sort of foggy area from here to the next sex scene. Yes, I calculate where I am in my story by where I am in sex scenes. So please, forgive me, and help me get my groove back! REVIEW! GIVE ME INSPIRATION IN TIME OF NEED! This chapter was crap, so hopefully it will get MUCH better!**

**And you know what could help me? Go to this place and comment on my forum! www . fanfiction .net/forum/Official_ResDes2_Forum/58913/ I had to space it out because for some reason the entire thing will let it there. I have no idea, but it wouldn't let me have the beginning??? Anyway, be sure to take out the spaces if you copy and paste. And if you want more, then I want you to go on this forum and talk like crazy. Please, I want to talk to people on my forum, so please do this!!! Thank you, and I'll try to get more out. I've been uber busy, so...**


	9. Confrontation

**All right. Hopefully this will make more people happy. Yes, it's another short chapter. Deal with it. Complain all you want, it ain't gonna change shit (In bad mood, sorry). So yeah, here's more, and if you want even more, then go to my forum, or you don't get anything. **

**Chapter 9**

**Confrontation**

I was just a complete wreck. Every day seemed just as worse as the day before. Nothing was getting any better. I wanted to confront Matt so badly, but it was just so goddamn hard. I knew he would just yell in my face, but oh God, I would love it if he yelled in my face. It meant he acknowledged me, which was a start. It meant I could hear his angelic voice, be closer to him than I was at that moment. I just wanted to be with him all the time. Every single thought just kept coming back to him.

I remember this one really horrible day. It started out with waking up from one hell of a dream. I dreamt (like I always did) about Matt. This one was a bit different from the others, though. In this one, it wasn't just a repeat of us fucking, it was me coming up to him in the hall. Just any normal day, coming up to him in the hall. I walked up to him and I yelled his name. He turned around and he smiled his gorgeous smile. We high fived and brought each other into a hug. We then small talked, the mindless babble we used to carry on. And I felt so warm and so amazing and so alive and how I used to feel. For a second, I forgot my woes and sadness. I forgot that Matt hated me. For a moment, I was ignorant and so goddamn happy.

The dream ended with me hugging him, feeling his muscles again against me. When I woke up, I found I had hugged my pillow, with my cock mysteriously flaccid. Reality hit me and I sobbed into the pillow. I pretended this pillow was my Matt and I professed everything to him. And I cried, waiting for a response, hoping somehow he was there, spying on me. And I cried until my alarm clock went off, telling me that another day of hell had officially started.

I continued on with my normal routine. Got up drowsily, changed, brushed teeth, and exited the this time, I looked back. I turned around and saw my dad lying on the couch, soundly asleep. He looked so peaceful, and I felt so envious to his obliviousness. It wasn't his fault that he tried it with a guy. My mom shouldn't have scolded him for something he did before they got married. It wasn't his fault, and I just got angrier. I wanted to walk out faster than before.

I drove to school how I normally did, getting hard while thinking about Matt. I used to give Matt a ride to school, but now I didn't. The reasons are obvious. I imagined letting him drive to school, sucking him off as he drove. I imagined his come spraying all over my face at a red light, and then I would clean him off as we laughed in our bliss. But that didn't happen, and I was left with a giant boner as I solemly entered the school.

Of course, as soon as I entered, I saw Matt. He was hanging out with my old friends, the ones who I decided to turn away from. Somehow he got all of the friends in the relationship and I was left in the cold. He was so manipulative and sexy. I knew they had no idea why I had turned away from them, which angered me. I couldn't tell them, and I felt like I was hurting them as well. I was hurting everyone in my life.

Unfortunately, everyone else left, and I stared as Matt walked to class. I instinctively followed him there as if I were a stalker. Without warning, he stopped. The problem was I kept going. I couldn't stop going and I ended up right behind him.

"Oh, hey," he said, as if none of this happened. I thought to myself, _What the fuck? Why is he being nice?_

"Hi," I answered back. "What's up?"

"All right, I'm not doing this," he said.

"What?"

"I can pretend to be a sort of aquantance with you, but I'm not going to have conversations with you."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Everyone thinks that we just drifted apart. I'm willing to say the not-so-often 'hey', but that's it. I'm not going to talk to you."

"Why?"

"You seduced me."

"What?"

"You tried to turn me gay, you fag."

"No I didn't. It was your decision. I asked if it was fine and you agreed."

"No, you somehow convinced me to fuck you. Now go away, I don't want to see you."

"What the hell did I do?"

"You're sick and disgusting. Don't talk to me, queer."

"You little piece of shit."

"I said never talk to me. I never want to see you." He walked away, leaving me in tears. I was completely heartbroken. How could this have happened? Why did I let it happen? Why does he hate me so much? What the hell happened since when we fucked and now?

Instead of going to class, I nearly ran to my car, eyes tearing up, drove five blocks away, and cried again.

**If you are saddened, tell me about it. Better yet, GO TO MY FUCKING FORUM! I am nw going to make a thread just for this story where you may bask in my glory and giant inflated head! So yes. Go and say one thing on my forum or no story.**


	10. My Conversation With Ryan

**You guys better love me! I've got three chapters in a row out, and maybe even another chapter coming out soon! So love me lots! I wanted to make this section longer, show the torture, but oh well. I'll have to deal because life is hard. Gah! Enjoy this sadness and be happy.**

**BTW Mr. Stein is played by the gorgeous Mark Walhberg with his giant male sexiness!  
**

**Chapter 10  
**

**My Conversation with Ryan**

In my sad horrible pain, it got even worse. I didn't know it could get any worse, but my God it did. It happened in Mr. Stein's class. Mr. Stein is the hottest teacher in the world and the greatest looking guy in the world. He was so big and ripped and I always fantasized about him. Other than Matt, he would get me the hardest. I've jerked off on fantasies so many times, it's unbelievable.

Anyway, I sat next to this guy named Ryan in Mr. Stein's class. He was the gay of the school, pretty much. No joke, he was flamboyant, a part of the plays, and he was kind of cute. He had short, white blonde hair and a small frame. For some reason he was sort of cute.

One day in that class, Ryan quietly whispered, "Good Lord, Mr. Stein is so gorgeous."

I unconsciously answered back, saying, "Yeah, he is." I quickly realized my mistake and prayed he hadn't heard me. He did.

"Did you just agree with me?" he whispered.

"Uhhh..." I stammered. Should I tell him the truth? Did it really matter anymore? My life was beyond abysmal anyway.

"You did!" he loudly whispered.

"Shh! And yes, I did," I answered.

"I had no idea you were queer."

"Don't tell anyone."

"Oh, I don't know. This is too juicy to give up."

"Don't fucking tell anyone or else I'll kill you."

"Jeez! Lighten up, I promise not to tell anyone. I know how you feel."

"OK."

"So exactly how gay are you?"

"I didn't know there was a scale."

"Oh shut up. I mean, what are you in bed?"

"I don't feel comfortable with giving out that information."

"Ugh. Pussy."

"Hey!"

"So, do you like woman at all?"

"No, OK? I like men! I like big cock on a manly, muscly, juicy body! I like dick!"

"Calm down, bitch. I was just wondering. So no girls at all?"

"NO!" I silently whispered.

"So who do you want to fuck?"

"What about you?"

"I asked first."

"Fine. Ummmm...I like...Matt."

"Matt? Really?"

"Yeah, now shut up!"

"Is there something the matter?" Mr. Stein suddenly asked, his large, sexy body inches from me.

"No, Mr. Stein," I answered and he walked away.

Once out of ear shot, Ryan said, "God I would let that man do so many things to me."

After a couple seconds of silence, I asked out of curiosity, "Well what about me?"

"Excuse me?" he asked.

"Would you fuck me?"

"Sorry, but no."

"Why?"

"I like to be dominated by my men. You're just too adorable, too perfect. I want a full, real man who could ride me nice and hard."

Luckily at that exact moment, the bell rang, stating that school was over. I drove home as fast as possible and ran to the bathroom.

I stared at myself in the mirror, questioning what Ryan meant when he called me too adorable. How was I too adorable? Was I not man enough? A new thought plagued my mind: Was I not man enough for Matt? Did he leave me because I wasn't big or masculine enough for him? My self-esteem lowered to a new low. I hated myself even more. It was more my fault, and the worst thing was, I couldn't do anything about it. Or could I?

I grabbed a razor from a drawer and held it close to my face. Would this solve my problems? Would I look manly enough for him then if I had a large scar running across my cheek? Would I look less perfect? Would he love me? Would I feel less bad?

I cried, holding the razor against my cheek for several minutes. I wanted to do it, but in the end, I finally realized it would be a bad idea. I couldn't hurt myself, people would be too suspicious. I put the razor down and went into my room to cry, again.

When my parents got home, they fought, again. In the end, my dad left to go to a hotel. My mom yelled at him as he left, "And maybe you can go fuck your boyfriend there!" I knew it really hurt my dad and my mom was overreacting beyond belief, but I couldn't do anything about it. My mom had already asked for the divorce papers.

**So, you like? I'm almost finished with the sad part! Which means that happiness will come and sex is definitely in the near future! Possibly even tonight!!!**

**REVIEW! AND GO TALK ABOUT IT ON MY FORUM! AND TALK ABOUT OTHER THINGS ON THERE! BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY...REVIEWS ON HERE! REVIEWS!!! **

**At the moment, the Twilight heads are winning my devotion, although I love this story more. Letter heads, out love them! Win my devotion! It's easy!!!  
**


	11. Hello Mr Stein

**God, this chapter is hot. Warning, you may jizz in your pants in this chapter. Just saying. I nearly did. Fuck!!! As mentioned before, Mr. Stein is played by Mark Wahlberg**, **one of THE HOTTEST men on the planet! YES! Anyway, review my lovelies for I am awesome.**

**Chapter 11**

**Hello Mr. Stein  
**

Before I start this part of the story, let me tell you that I had one hot teacher. This man was absolutely gorgeous. He was my anatomy teacher and I fantasized about him all the time. When I wasn't thinking about Matt, I thought about him. His name was Mr. Stein. He was entirely ripped from what I saw through his shirt.

Anyway, one day in my horrid abysmal life at the time when I was obsessed with Matt, the one I hated yet loved, I went to go talk to Mr. Stein. I needed help since instead of paying attention in that class I was either fantasizing about him or Matt. I could see the muscle lining through his shirt and I always left that class very hot (like I did in pretty much all of my classes). I couldn't help but imagine his large cock plowing hard into me, his giant muscles making him thrust deep inside of me. It was torture and I loved it.

So I walked in after class one day and saw his tie slackened, his large arms bulging out of his shirt. He looked up with his manly face and said, "Hey there, Troy. What do you want?"

I slightly stuttered as I said, "I need some help with the bones."

"What about them?"

"Well, what's a radius?"

He pulled his shirt up to show his large, hairy arms. "This is the radius, along with the ulna."

"Oh. OK. And what is...the femur?"

He grabbed his meaty thigh and stated, "This is the femur." I imagined his large leg move as he ran, so big and manly.

"And what's the sternum?" I asked, putting in my fate.

He looked over to the window and stood up. He pushed me onto the chair and stood above me. He seductively began unbuttoning the top of his shirt, and his chest began to show. He moved his finger slowly up and down his breast bone and answered, "This is the sternum."

I tried to withhold a moan, but it was impossible. He was so gorgeous. His muscles were so defined, so worked on, so hot. He looked down at me, biting his lip, as I held for dear life on his chair. Suddenly he sat down on my lap, grabbed my crotch, started rubbing, and said, "And this is a hard cock."

I tried to question what was going on, but all I could do was moan again, feeling my cock get wet with precome. He undid his tie and let it hang on his broad shoulders. While continuing to rub through my jeans, he says, "I've seen you get horny in my class. It's quite obvious. Everytime I go near you, you cringe. I thought it was because you hated me, but then one day, I see that bulge in your pants. You know it's kind of cute, a boy with a crush on his teacher. And then yesterday I overhear you talking about me with Ryan. Well, get ready for your fantasy to come true. You get me horny too. You're just too cute. God, I could just..."

Suddenly, his tie was around my neck, and he pulled us close to each other. His lips were on mine, his tongue already in my mouth. He pulled me closer with one hand on my back, the other massaging my crotch. I couldn't stop moaning. He started to take his shirt off, which got me hornier. He pulled my shirt off and started licking down my body. It felt so good as his tongue swirled on my nipples. I knew it was amazing to do it to other guys, but to have it happen to you was amazing. His large chest rubbed against my skin as he licked my body. I loved it.

He got down to my crotch and giggled. He started unbuttoning my pants, but I quickly yelled, "Stop!"

"What?" he asked.

"You're my teacher!"

"And?"

"Isn't there a rule against it?"

"I don't care." This wasn't my real reason to stop him. The real reason was because this meant I wasn't in love with Matt. If I slept with Mr. Stein, it meant I was betraying Matt. Sure he didn't love me back, but I didn't want to be with anyone other than him. If I got it on, then I would be unfaithful. "Now, unless you have a better excuse, I'd like to suck you off."

I felt much better, but still felt horrible that I was going against Matt. "That's what I thought," he said, and pulled my pants off. He noticed the large amount of precome already on my cock and giggled. I looked down and saw how incredibly hard I actually was. My cock was straight up with no signs of limpness. It was like it was completely filled with blood. It was bigger and harder than normal and he smiled.

"Wow, I'm impressed Troy," he commented. "I never thought someone your age would be that big." He took my cock and started licking it. He took his tongue and played with my tip. I, of course, moaned. He took my head in his mouth and sucked hard. I had never known what this felt like, but God did it feel good. He slowly went down until the entire thing was in his mouth. He then coughed a little, sending a vibration through my cock and up my spine. I threw my head back, it was so good. He was like a hoover, the suction was so intense.

He slowly went up and down my shaft, playing with my balls. I moaned, "Oh God, Mr. Stein," and he laughed in pleasure on my cock, sending me further. I knew I couldn't last too long. It had been a while since I knew the touch of another man, and I've had so many different fantasies about my teacher, none of them involving him sucking me off. It was usually me giving him head.

I felt the unbearable tingling sensation in my cock and deep within my crotch. I knew I was gonna come, but I didn't want to. Coming meant letting go of Matt. If I came, it would never be the same. It was so hard to hold on. I tried to think of kittens, but Mr. Stein continued to pop into my head. The feeling of his tongue on my cock was torturous. I wanted, no, needed to come so badly. I was holding back a huge load that needed to be released.

Mr. Stein could tell I was trying not to come. He stopped for a second and slowly rubbed my cock. "Just fucking come," he commanded.

"I can't."

"I'm surprised you've held on this long."

"I can't."

"It's not like it makes it worse if you come. I still gave you head. If you don't come, that's not going to change it."

"Fuck, Mr. Stein."

"Come for me, Troy." He then took my cock in his mouth again and quickly pushed the entire thing into his mouth, sucking harder then ever, and sending a slight movement of air onto my cock. This definitely sent me over the edge.

"Fuck, I'm gonna come!" I yelled, and it happened. I felt the muscles within me tighten everywhere as I felt euphoria. For a second I forgot Matt and just let go. I let everything go and felt pure bliss. I relaxed, which consequently made me tighten up even more. I felt good as I quickly ejaculated into his mouth, coming harder than ever. It almost hurt how much come came out. Mr. Stein came off for just a second, and I pushed more come higher than my head. I watched as the come shot up above me, showing just how damn horny I was. As that landed on my stomach, Mr. Stein quickly put my cock back in my mouth, continuing to catch the rest of it. It felt so amazing, I cannot describe it. For a moment, I felt pleasure again, and it showed.

Finally, I stopped coming (which took a while), and Mr. Stein giggled again. "Nice, Troy. I've never seen someone come that hard. Big dick, epic comeshots, smokin' body, and tasty come. Goddamnit Troy, you're nearly perfect." My self-esteem, which was destroyed so horribly yesterday, was beginning to raise again. I slightly moaned as he licked the come that had escaped his mouth and landed on my abs and chest. My cock, still hard, rubbed against his chest as he moved up and down my torso, cleaning me off.

"Now are you ready for the next thing?" he asked.

"Are you gonna fuck my ass?"

"Are you willing?"

"God yes."

"All right, get ready for my big cock." He opened his drawer and took out a bottle of lube. He pulled my legs up and poured some on his fingers. He started massaging my asshole, feeling the inside of it, making me moan again and keeping me hard.

He then stood up and undid his pants. I saw his cock for the first time. His body was absolutely perfect. His chest was large with a slim waist and perfect abs. He was the prefect specimen of man, and his cock was huge and erect. He began rubbing lube on it, turning me on even more as it glistened in its glory. It was just so big.

Next, without warning, with my legs on his shoulders, he picked me up and slammed me on top of his desk, getting better access to my ass. Then suddenly, he grabbed my waist and pushed his mammoth cock inside of me. I was hit by a wave of pleasure. Immediately he had hit my spot, and my erection grew nearly half an inch. I nearly screamed and he cheekily smiled. "Like that?"

"Oh yeah, Mr. Stein. God that was good."

"You like my big cock?"

"Plow me harder." He started up a momentum, pushing himself deep inside of me. I moaned, "Fuck," and "Shit," and "Yes," quite a few times as he continued to hit just that right spot. I hadn't felt this is so long, and it was so amazing. I watched as his muscles flexed as he pushed deep into me, his giant cock almost tearing apart my asshole. It hurt, but in a great way. His large chest and many perfect abs glistened in his sweat as he looked at my body.

"Is this good?" he moaned.

"Oh fuck," I answered, my eyes tightening, although I wanted to soak every rippling muscle on him.

"You like this?"

"More, fuck. You get me so horny, Mr. Stein."

"Really? How?"

"I jerk off to you."

"Oh God, yes."

"You get me so hard, I need to release myself."

"Do you want me to release you?"

"Oh yes." He grabbed my cock and started rubbing, making me gasp.

Still moving in that agonizing rythym, his cock going in and out, his body moving in a circle as he pushed into me, his breathing heavy and hot, his large muscles pushing against me, he asked, "What do you do?"

"I imagine you fucking me."

"Oh yeah."

"I imagine your large muscles wrap themselves around me."

"Oh God."

"I imagine your cock plowing deep into me."

"Yes."

"I imagine myself being overwhelmed by you. I imagine giving myself to you, letting you do whatever you want to me, and getting off at your amusement."

"Yes, yes, yes!"

"I imagine your big cock plowing my tiny, tight hole."

"Oh fuck."

"And you know what?"

"What?" I asked, his large body incredibly close to mine, his lips near mine, his everything so sweaty and so hot and so close.

"I come."

"Shit."

"I jerk off, and I imagine myself coming as you come."

"Fuck!"

"I imagine your seed flinging far into me as you releave yourseld inside of me. And with this thought, I come."

"FUCK!"

"I come hard. I get it all over my stomach and abs and chest and I become a dirty, sweaty, come stained boy horny for his sexy ass manly teacher."

"I'm gonna come!"

"Fuck it, I am too!"

His lips slam into mine, his crotch pushing hard and fast against my ass. His hand moves swiftly against my cock as I feel that same burning within. I feel it and again release myself. As I do, I feel Mr. Stein push hard against me, his entire body on mine, my cock squished by his body. I feel him slowly plow hard into me and I feel his come spew right on my spot. He moaned, "Fuck Troy!" against my lips as he came. My come splashed against both of our bodies, feeling even better than before. I feel that sense of freedom again, that sense of pure amazement. God, it's so good. We both come for a full half a minute.

After we catch our breath, his cock slowly slides out of me, letting me feel that wonderful feeling one last time. He licks me clean, and I'm too tired to get hard again as his tongue dances on my cock. He licks the come off my stomach that has spread because our bodies touched and moved against each other, making a bigger mess. He goes and got a towel to clean off his own stomach. The moment was incredibly awkward, complete with long silences. We both stood there, getting dressed, neither saying anything. I wondered what was the matter.

I went home feeling incredibly good about myself. I didn't need Matt as much as I did anymore. I still had other people. I didn't need Matt, although I would have liked him. I went to bed soundly, feeling good about life, and getting hard again as I remembered my afternoon with the sexy Mr. Stein.

The next day when I got to school, there was a sub in anatomy. Mr. Stein had quit.

**Wasn't that beyond steamy? Be fucking grateful, I gave you two chapters in one night! The sadness is pretty much over. Except wait, we have to get to the even more awesome part of the story! We get to delve on Matt's pyche and see his side! YEA! SEXUAL IDENTITY ISSUES!**

NOW FUCKING GO AND REVIEW!


	12. Sexual Frustration

**So here is another chapter. I keep getting more and more out to you, so love me please! I really want reviews, so review! BTW, it may seem like it hasn't been that long, but another gay sex scene is approaching! Right after Matt plays with himself like a porn star! YES! Anyway, I know where this is going now, so it won't be ending until I say it is going to end. And I might get this entire story done by the end of the summer (which might be a little unlikely). Sorry if you think this story is short, but I don't care! It's fucking long for me!!! And I already knew where this was going before I started it! Actually, I even added a little more than what I originally planned, but that's only because I WANT MORE SEX! A little because it might help add to the character of Troy but mainly because THERE IS THIS HOT GUY I WANNA SEE FUCK TROY!!! But yeah, I'm giving away some stuff. Just hush (but don't hush on my comments! Keep those coming! The more the merrier! I'd actually be happy if you commented more than once! I just really like comments! Seriously, comment like two or three times! And make them long! I may be asking too much, but you guys are asking a lot from me as well! I'm busting my ass to get this on paper) and be patient, my readers.**

**So is the fucking Matt chapter gonna start?!  
**

**Chapter 12**

**Sexual Frustration  
**

This part is from the view of Matt. I felt it is in best interest to show his view. He deserves to let his part of the story out, even if he was a bit of a jackass for a bit. This is once again from his diary.

* * *

_Troy moves closer towards me. His body is hot and sweaty. His muscles glisten and he looks...gorgeous. _

_Suddenly, we are both naked. We are both hard as anything. _

_I turn him around and push my cock into his ass. We both moan as I fuck that tight hole. It feels so good, but I know it's bad. I want to stop, but I just can't. His body is so close to me, his muscles wet with his sweat. He is so gorgeous, so manly, so not good for me. I can't stop but I continue to fuck. _

_I am on the edge. I feel I am about to come and so is he. He looks so beautiful, his body almost to pure bliss. I feel it approaching._

Suddenly, I am in my room, my room is dark, and I'm holding onto the sheets for dear life. I try to stop it, but it's too late. I feel the semen leak out of my cock, all over my pajamas. I want it to stop, but it just continues. I feel the muscles in my cock flex, pushing the shame out of me and onto my sheets. It's so disgusting. I'm coming for Troy. I had a wet dream about Troy. I have sinned.

I get out of my bed and walk solemnly to the bathroom. I cleaned myself to the best of my ability, my cock still semi-hard. I hadn't had a wet dream since I was around, like, 14. It's getting worse, diary. I feel as if I might be getting gayer. These nightmares are haunting me more and more. I hate it all and I want it to stop.

I've gotten a girlfriend. Her name is Jasmine. She's beautiful, but that doesn't stop anything. I try to cure myself, and it just won't work. When I'm with her, I still think about...him. Diary, I need help. God, I'm even thinking of going to a straight camp, but doing that would be accepting my homosexuality. I'm not gay!

Today I stayed with my girlfriend, Jasmine. We sat next to each other, sitting on the couch. It's easy to snuggle with her. She's soft, she's warm, and oh so slender. Meanwhile a war goes on within me. On the outside I am quiet and calm, but on the inside there was a storm brewing.

Jasmine and I watched a movie, her head resting on my chest. I felt how warm she was against me. I imagined Troy once again. Something about Jasmine lying on me and just being me, I thought about Troy naked...again. I imagined his chest rise up and down, his head resting on me. Oh God, I'm sick. This was horrible. I tried to hide my growing erection, but I couldn't. He was just too horribly beautiful. Soon my pecker was pushing against Jasmine's stomach.

She looked up at me and laughed. "I'm so sorry," I apologized.

"Oh no, it's OK. I'm actually flattered," she answered.

"Really?" I asked, not realizing that she was in my head.

"Yeah. You're getting horny over me."

"Yeah, I am," I quickly lied. She kissed me on the lips and it felt sort of good. I felt disgusted because it wasn't Troy, but it was good. I was happy someone liked me other than Troy.

Her hands slowly went up my shirt, scratching at my skin. It reminded me of Troy, and I felt even worse. Her head went down my body. She unbuttoned my pants and pulled down my pants. My cock flew up and she lightly giggled. "So big," she noted. She grabbed it and slowly started rubbing. I closed my eyes and there he was. Troy was doing this to me and I was loving it. I moaned loudly as she began putting it into her mouth. I remembered Troy doing this to me on the basketball court and nearly threw up. That day was so horrible. I actually liked Troy that day. I wanted to be with him. And then someone found out. Someone learned about my sin and I hate it.

I felt like I was about to throw up. The image of Troy sucking me off was unbearable. I actually hated the feeling of someone sucking me off. I was disgusted in every way. I wanted to tell her to stop because I was having a minor panic attack. Luckily, she said something, breaking me from my echoing thoughts. "Do you have a condom?" she asked.

"Uhhh...yeah," I thought. I took one out of my pocket. I unwrapped it and placed it on my cock. I turned her onto her back so that I could be on top. I undressed her quickly, almost wanting to get this over with. I took off her bra and pulled down her skirt and undies. I realized that this was the first time I'd seen an actual vagina, and I was surprised that it wasn't that momentous. I would have thought I'd have done some sort of dance if this happened a month ago, but all I thought about was Troy. All I fucking thought about was TROY!

I quickly pushed myself into her warm center. I heard her moan, but I felt almost nothing. My condom was extremely thick and I was over preoccupied. I quickly pushed in and out. I felt her move underneath me in a mixture of pleasure and slight pain. I was pushing a bit harder than necessary, trying to get something.

I felt her tighten, her arms wrapping around my waist, as we quietly moved on top of the small couch. We were in such a small space, moving slightly and awkwardly. I tried to stop it, but I couldn't. Images of Troy paraded through my head. It was nothing like fucking Troy, but it was good enough. Her lips touched mine and I my eyes closed. I imagined Troy again and I felt a sort of rythym starting. I imagined plowing into Troy, which helped quite a lot. I hated myself for doing it, but if I didn't, I wouldn't have gotten anywhere.

Finally, I felt myself getting close. In my mind, Troy's sweaty skin was feeling me up, but in reality, it was Jasmine's breasts that we pushing against me. Troy's asshole clenched tight around my member. I pulled him close as possible. He screamed, "Matt!" in my ear. Suddenly, I accidentally screamed, "TROY!" right into Jasmine's face. I tried to stop, but I couldn't. I moaned out the "y" in his name as the come filled my condom. It felt so good and so horribly bad. I felt her coming against me as well, so maybe she didn't even notice me screaming my ex-lover's name. I felt sticky and gross and deserved whatever happened to me for what I thought. I should have thought about Jasmine, but I thought about that fag Troy. I was turning into a fag myself. A disgusting fag that liked men.

The come stuck to my cock as I caught my breath. I felt so disgusting after it happened. I didn't know how to clean myself up or anything. I quickly pulled out and took off the condom. Semen covered my entire cock and I felt as if I just had a wet dream. I looked over at Jasmine and saw her cooch. It actually sort of looked disgusting. With all those folds and flaps, it looked creepy. I thought of Troy and his large cock, and I actually thought the cock was appealing. The cock was sexy while I was sickened by the vagina. I was a monster. How could I be this? What was I becoming?

Note to self: Don't use toilet paper to clean off come after using a condom. It just rips apart and gets stuck to your cock.

**So how was that? Is it just me or does someone else get turned on by Matt's shame of being gay? I'm sorry, but I find it hot from his torture! God, I'm sick! YEA!**

**Anyway, REVIEW! If I don't get at least 5 reviews for this chapter, I won't put up the next one! OK?! I WANT MY REVIEWS! Also, the forum is still open, so go to that!  
**


	13. Inside the Head of Matt

**I'm ashamed by all of you. How dare you? I wanted more comments, and this is all I get? Well, too bad for you. This is all you're going to get for a long, long time. Too bad for you. You should have given me what I wanted. **

**So pretty much after this is all sex. I'm sorry, but it is. I'd like to say that it's pure emotion and yes there is a backstory, but it's just pure smut. Yet, it's good smut. It's smut done right with emotion put into it. There may be some chapters that don't involve pure gay sex, but it mainly is. That is what it was meant to be and that is what it is. And since it takes me forever to write smut (since I have to stop since I get so incredibly horny all the time) and also the fact that I can only write smut when I'm by myself, it might take a little longer. But don't complain! I gave you about 4 chapters in like 3 days. So love me and KEEP COMMENTING! I'm actually sort of ashamed by my readers. They aren't commenting, yet I get quite a few for Twilight. So, what's it gonna be? Twilight smut or do you want Letter smut? The choice is yours, Letter fans, the choice is yours. And you know Twihards, they are ferocious, horny, and do whatever it takes to get what they want. So if they get my attention, sorry. So please, for the sake of this story, continue commenting, or else NADA!!!**

**Chapter 13**

**Inside the Head of Matt**

This is yet another section from Matt's diary. This passage made me sad, happy, and horny all at the same time.

* * *

Diary, I've come to a final conclusion. I know what I have to do. I am very happy with my decision and realized it is the best.

This happened while I was at the gym. I was bench pressing, my hot skin sticking to the leather bench. My shirt was off because I felt so hot. I'd been working out for the past two hours. It helped my mind stay away from Troy. Its been getting harder, but the agonizing burn in my arms helps, although the burn in my crotch sometimes overpowers me.

I think a lot when I go to the gym. It's sort of my contemplation time. I work out while I reflect on my life. It keeps me sane. I used to do this while jerking off, but every time I jerk, my mind always wanders to Troy. So I started bench pressing more, which helped me feel clean and pure.

I was there for a long time because I was pretty bad today. I had a really hot wet dream last night. I laid down on the ground as Troy went up and down on my cock, his body glistening metaphysically. I came harder than I can remember. I woke up hot and sweaty and stained with come and a dirty spirit. It felt so good as I came, and yet, it felt absolutely horrible. I wanted to stop, but couldn't. I was feeling pleasure for all the wrong reasons.

I contemplated how I treated Troy. It wasn't his fault, he didn't do anything. But he chose to be gay, or did he? The entire time I knew him, he didn't show any signs of being gay. He was extremely straight, and then suddenly he comes up on me while playing basketball. Actually, I came up on him. I was the one who got hard first. It wasn't Troy's fault. He didn't force himself on me. It was all me. That tiny piece of information had been repressed by my psyche. I was so incredibly mean to Troy all the time for no reason. I called him a fag constantly. Every time his face came up in my head, a red "FAG" would appear next to him. Maybe that fag was talking about me. Maybe I am gay. But how can I be gay? I don't want to be gay. Isn't it a choice? Where's my fucking choice?

I bench harder, trying to get the thought out of my head. "You're a fag," keeps playing over and over inside my head. I wanted it to stop so badly. It was taunting me. And the worst part was, it was my voice calling myself gay. I was horrible. There's nothing wrong with being gay. Why did I eat up that shit? Being gay is completely normal.

But that didn't shut up the voice. It kept echoing, torturing me. I looked over and saw the only other guy in the gym bend over. His ass showed through his shorts, and fuck, it reminded me of Troy. Suddenly I saw Troy ass naked, showing himself to me. Showing his dirty entrance. Suddenly, I was there, my cock roughly sliding against the walls of his ass. My cock going in and out, my hands grasped firmly around his big, meaty, wet cock. I imagined myself plowing deep into him as I felt his throbbing member in my hands, so hot, so hard, so gorgeous. I imagined his sweaty body slowly crawling up my sweaty body, his cock trailing up my leg, my cock rubbing against his chest, as he comes up for a kiss. I can see Troy's muscles tighten up as he comes all over my body, his glory spraying all over me.

I could feel my cock quickly rise. I put more weights on the bar and pushed harder than I thought possible. I thought, maybe if the blood rushes to my arms, it would leave my cock. But that didn't happen. I stayed nice and hard as the image of Troy coming all over my stomach continued to play over and over in my head, like a broken record. He came harder this time, his come hitting my chin and making the most beautiful of noises. It came out as one long, continuous stream all over my body, and my cock twitched hard, eager to be touched. This thought was getting me harder and harder and hornier than ever. I hated it, but my cock kept twitching against the inside of my pants, trying to feel some friction.

I put the thing in its place and picked up some hand weights. I sat up, trying to hide my erection within my thighs as I kept pushing my guns farther and farther than they can go. My arms were killing me, but I didn't care. I needed the thought out of my head, and exercise wouldn't help. Despite how hard I tried, the manliest of things wouldn't get me from thinking about Troy naked and me getting horny about it. I needed help and badly, but the only thing that could help me was a good dose of Troy, which would only make things worse.

The other guy left, being there for only twenty minutes. Wimp. Maybe he saw my bulge, but I didn't care. I was too fucking horny to care about anything else than Troy. Speaking of which, I finally gave into my desires and lay back down, letting my cock strain against my shorts again. I knew if I did this, I would just hate myself for it, but I didn't care. I needed relief, and fast. I quickly took off my work out shorts, feeling the hot skin on my back stick to the sweaty leather. I sighed and pulled my head up for a moment to look at the damage. It was as straight as ever, and maybe even slightly bent up. I was so fucking horny, I didn't care of the repercussions.

"Hello there," I said to my cock. "Fancy seeing you again. Why must you always grow hard and leave me hot and bothered everytime Troy enters my mind? What's with you? I'd like to end that but I know I can't. Fuck, I'm talking to my cock and I'm telling it that I can't change how I am. I'm giving in." I put my head back down and grabbed the thing, gently beginning to rub. I started remembering that one time he ran past my house shirtless. He was so sweaty that day. When the sun shone on him, he practically looked like a god. His muscles shiny, his hair blowing back, his chest slighlty jiggling because he had so much muscle, his skin a golden tan, which just looked so perfect in the sun, his eyes squinting just a little from the glow, his mouth agape with a sort of frown and a sort of smile as he tried to get in excess air, it just got me so flustered. I don't know if I had ever seen him look more amazing except for the first time in the shower after basketball when he started jerking off. His muscles were so clearly defined, I wanted to kiss him, stick my tongue in that open mouth, feel those muscles, just be with him, which sort of scared me.

I imagined him playing basketball, jumping into the air. He looked so graceful as he leaped around, putting the ball in the basket. His shorts were down incredibly low, so I could see the slow rise of his ass. God, his ass was so gorgeous. Every part of him was gorgeous in every way. Why were his shorts so dangerously low? His legs were long and sexy. He had a treasure trail that was so seductive. I wanted to roll my finger down that treasure trail forever, watch as it went down his tight shorts. He walked toward me, his cock yearning in his pants.

I got down on my knees and started sucking him off. And you know what? I liked it. I liked the idea of Troy's sweaty cock filling my mouth, making him come everywhere. God, I was even gayer than I thought. I steered over to the safer zone and imagined me fucking him hard up the ass. I moaned as I held his waist tight, my cock going hard into him. He felt so good, his ass clenching as I felt all his muscles tighten.

I opened my eyes and realized I was jerking incredibly fast. I was at that stage where I couldn't stop myself if I tried. I was going to come to the thought of Troy. And you know what? I was fine with that. I was fine with coming while I imagined fucking Troy, sucking Troy, doing many things to Troy. I liked Troy. I like men. I cannot contain myself, I must be free with myself. I began moaning, "Oh Troy. Fuck me, Troy. Fuck me hard. Oh God, yes. Oh Troy. Fuck Troy. Fuck!" My back arched as the hot, white liquid splurted out of my cock. I felt free, whole, good. I actually liked coming. I liked the feeling I got when I came to Troy and let myself come to Troy. He was who I loved. I couldn't stop it.

The come landed all over my chest and abs. It pooled within my belly button and I felt whole again. The moment the come hit my face, I felt like I was slapped. Slapped for ever thinking that I couldn't love another man. Slapped for not going to Troy sooned. I came to a realization: I really did love Troy, and it took a hit of my own come to the face to help me realize it. I learned that I'd be a fool if I didn't go back to Troy as soon as possible. I thought about myself as gay for the first time, and I felt fine with it.

**Wasn't that uber smexy and amazing? Well, remember...COMMENT!!!**


	14. Text Message

**So. I'm giving you guys a little more before I go away for a while. I know this chapter is crap. The next chapter will be much better with more emotion. I think I show more emotion through Matt. Oh well. This was short and bad. Review anyway. Tell me you love it, because you know you do!**

**Chapter 14**

**Text Message**

I was so extremely shocked when I got the text message. I was sitting at home, trying to do my homework. In truth, I was thinking about Matt, trying to forget him. It was very hard not to think about Matt. I was in love with him. Of course it was easier after sleeping with my teacher.

Speaking of Mr. Stein, he quit. After sleeping with me, he decided he couldn't handle teaching me anymore. He wanted to quit before they found out and fired him. I felt sort of bad for sleeping with him, but it was totally worth it. He helped me get over Matt by just the slightest. He said he couldn't teach me anymore without feeling ashamed. I was fine with it. I felt bad that it was my fault, but it was for the best.

Yet all of a sudden, I got a text message. I let the phone vibrate in my pocket for a second before I looked at it. I was in the middle of a math question and I really wanted to finish it before I lost my train of thought. When I took my phone out, I thought it was a joke. The name on the front of my phone read, "Matt." How could Matt be texting me? He didn't want to talk to me. He made that perfectly clear. Everytime I went near him, he called me a fag. He gave me angry glances and he hated me. Why would he text me?

Unless he wanted to call me a fag. How dare he? Is he that horrible to rub the unrequited love in my face? I was about to start crying and I hadn't even read the text. My mind was running circles in overreaction. I finally decided to stop thinking about what it was stupidly and actually read the text.

"We need to talk. Call me as soon as you get this," it said. What did he want to say? I was so horribly afraid. I decided that I must call him, no matter what. I had to talk to him, even if he hated me.

I called him immediately. My heart pounded as I listened to his ringback tone. I don't remember exactly what song it was, which is a bit surprising since I remember all of the smallest details, yet I can't remember the song I listened to while I waited to talk to Matt again.

"Hello?" he asked, answering the phone. His voice sounded so beautiful. So cute and manly and amazing. I loved his voice so much. So soft, so smooth, so gorgeous.

"Hello-o?" he asked again, and I realized I had been fawning over his voice so that I couldn't answer.

"You asked me to call you?" I asked.

"Uhhh...yeah," he answered. "We need to talk."

"About?"

"I was an idiot."

"You were?"

"We...we need to talk...in person..."

I gulped and my voice cracked as I said, "Oh?"

"Yeah. Can you get to the park in twenty minutes?"

"Sure," I answered, trying to contain my voice. I didn't care if he was going to yell at me or be angry with me, he actually wanted to talk to me. I couldn't contain myself. I quickly hung up and ran to my closet. I tried to figure out what to wear. I actually considered wearing a tux. What do you wear when you go and meet the man you love but is afraid of you because you question his sexuality. I eventually decided to wear just normal clothes. I wanted to show what I felt when he was gone. I wore plain, normal clothes with nothing special in a dull and drab life, hating myself. I wore a blank shirt to make it seem like I didn't care, which is the exact opposite of how I felt. I ran out of my house and left ten minutes early, getting there ten minutes early.

**Don't worry. The better stuff is coming tomorrow. I promise. Hope you still love me!**


	15. His Apology

**So I got at least one review for the last chapter, so I am now putting up this chapter. Of course you can still comment on the other chapter. In fact it is greatly appreciated. Just comment on this.**

**And a note on my sanity...I'm pretty sure I'm madly in love with Zac Efron. Today I was at CVS with my mom and there was a picture of him shirtless and I had to stop myself from drooling or staring since, of couse, no one I actually knows knows that I am gay and in love with Zac Efron. So by staring at him, I would reveal my secret. So I'm in love with Zac Efron mucho...  
**

**All right. So I was watching SNL with Zac Efron in it, and I was thinking, "Oh my God. He is just so beautiful..." So I was very inspired to write this chapter. I actually wrote this chapter before the previous chapter because I was fawning over how gorgeous Troy is. And also, looking back, to feed my own ego (since no one else will do it), this story is actually really good. I'm actually happy and pleased and proud (but not proud enough to show my friends...I'm not ready to tell them my secret life) of this story. I really like Matt, surprisingly. I like my own stuff, which is so surprising. I usually hate my stuff. So you know it's good. **

**Chapter 15**

**His Apology  
**

This is from Matt's journal. I was so incredibly happy when I read this. My heart skipped a beat and my soul warmed up into a giant goop while reading it.

* * *

I was so terrified. My legs shook, my heart trembled, and I just felt queasy. I was so scared to go see Troy again. I couldn't believe I was actually going to go talk to Troy after so long. I felt so sure of myself, and yet I wasn't. What was going to happen? Did he still love me? Do I still love him? Was this the right choice? Yes, it was the right choice. Of course it was. I was so afraid to talk to him. It had been so long. I hadn't talked to him. I called him a fag. I was a fag. I loved him. I loved him with all my heart. I was ready to confront him again. He was mine, and I was absolutely ready to talk to him.

But as soon as I saw him, all of my torment and anger and fear and anxiousness, it just melted away as my heart melted just looking at him. He was so beautiful, I couldn't believe it. It's hard to describe the feelings I felt as I stared at him. His brown hair so gorgeous and crazy. It looked sort of dirty, messy, and unwashed and I loved it. Just everything about him was miraculous. His eyes blue and deep and filled with so much emotion. His mouth slightly open, his red lips so succulent. His nose so straight and adorable and perfect. His large, furry eyebrows so dark and a nice contrast from his adorable face. His jawline so strong and rigid, covered with fuzz. He hadn't shaved in a couple days and he had a bit of stubble appearing on his cheeks and jaw. I wanted to kiss those lips, feel his stubble rub against my chin and cheek, feel his incredibly soft skin.

And they way his shirt laced over his large muscles, his chest bulging out. I could see the edges of that wonderful chest sneak out of that shirt. I imagined my lips feeling that chest sensually, touching those warm abs under that gray shirt. He was dressed so casually, as if he'd been a wreck for the past month, and yet he was still the most beautiful thing in the entire world. And the worst part was, I knew I did that to him. All I wanted to do was hold him and try to make things better, knowing that I couldn't. But just being able to hold him made me feel so much better. I wanted to kiss him, hold him, feel him, be with him, fuck him, know him, love him. I wanted to do everything to him and know he was good to return it back.

And oh God his skin. His skin glowed so intensely, so beautifully, so wonderful. His arms shimmered with their glory, his forearms lightly covered with hair, his biceps one wonderful lump. His skin was just so dark, so gorgeous. It looked so smooth, so perfect. I wanted to kiss those dark arms, gleaming so amazingly. I'd never found arms so attractive before. I wanted him to hold me with them. I wanted to feel his arms reach out and touch me with his large hands. I wanted those lips to feel my lips, his skin to caress my skin. Goddamnit, I just wanted to hold him and I wanted him to hold me. He was beyond perfection and I wanted him to be mine. I loved him with everything and I finally understood it. I was happy when I looked at him. Happy to look at that body sent from the gods. I would be his forever, I loved him so much. I had no idea I loved him so much, but I did.

He lay on the grass in the park, leaning on one arm, one leg propped into the air. He held his hands together, his fingers laced elegantly in each other. His muscles bulged just the slightest. He looked out with those eyes of marble into nothingness, obviously thinking. His shirt rode up just a little, but not far enough that I could see the bottom of one hell of a torso. I don't know whether I was horny or in love, but I wanted him so bad. That image and the way he was was just so provacative and...God I couldn't stop imagining him naked, lying like that. In that position, I could imagine his crotch going back and forth in a humping motion, my hand on his cock as I fucked him hard. I got the shivers thinking about it.

Suddenly, he spotted me. His eyes moved back and locked with mine. His head craned just the slightest to get a better view. A smile began to creep up on his face. It came up slowly. First, he looked sad, but as soon as he saw me, I could tell from his face, he began to feel happier. That made me feel so incredibly good. I loved him to death and he at least felt a portion of what I felt. His lips slowly began to stretch as the corners of his mouth went out and up into that illustrous smile of his. If he gleamed before, his was a star now. Nothing was more amazing than seeing him smile at me. I had been staring at him for a millenia now, and he had finally caught on. His graceful movement of his mouth was so alluring, I couldn't resist. I walked as fast as I possibly could over to him to finally talk to my love. Mi amor.

The first thing that came out of my mouth was, "God, you look stunning."

He blushed and said, "Thank you," making him look more irresistable.

The next thing I inadvertantly said as I quickly fell to the ground next to him was, "I'm so sorry."

"What for?" he asked through his amazing smile. I wondered if he knew he was smiling so bright, so big. He was amazing and smiled better than anyone I'd ever seen before.

"I was such an idiot. I had no idea what I was doing. I was confused."

"Oh."

"Please believe me when I say I meant none of it. I was naive, stupid, and didn't know any better. I was the worst person in the world and I don't deserve you. I want you like hell, but I don't deserve you. Please know that I love you and am truly and deeply sorry. I didn't know myself then, but I do now. I know I want to be with you."

"Aww..." he said back.

"I...love you."

He looked so astonished when I told him that. Slightly taken aback. "I love you, too." I couldn't resist. I needed to. I kissed those lips, those soft lips. They were so warm and wet and wonderful. I pulled him closer and kissed him harder. I wanted him so bad. I wanted to explore his body, be with him in every single way. I wanted him so bad, it was crazy.

He pulled back and asked, "Do you think we should be doing this here?"

"I need you now."

"There are some bushes just over there..." he said, pointing. My cock twitched harder than ever against his thigh.

**Sorry to leave it on such a sexual cliff hanger. I, as stated earlier, will not be able to get out the next chapter out for a while. It is a sex scene, something that takes a while. But hey! At the beginning of Spring Break, I only had like 7 chapters out. Now look! I'm on chapter 15. I did more than I thought I could!!! Aren't I amazing? Anyway, don't give up on this story. I won't. Just wait a little bit. **

**By the way, a review I got made me very happy. Supposedly, someone heard of this story through an inbox in I think email. That means I'm pretty sure this story is spreading. Honestly, I'd be very happy if you sent this story to all your friends so that it may spread like a disease. Actually, I really want my friends to read my stuff, yet I don't because then they'd know it's me. But I know they'd like it a whole bunch, so. Oh well.**

**Also! I said earlier that this was all smut after this. I forgot something so no, there wil be a bit more pain and suffering. But not within a coupling. Matt and Troy are happily together...for now. But what is coming up will not rip them apart...I hope. You never know with my mind. Anyway, yeah. Enjoy what is coming up.**

**And something I would like to know, what do you honestly think of me? I'm a bit curious...I mean, when you read my stuff, how do you picture me? I really want to know how you picture me. I'm curious. Please, someone just do that.**

**Anyway, I'm rambling. Oh well. THANX ALL AND SEE YOU WHEN I SEE YOU (which is hopefully sometime soon)!!!  
**


	16. In the Bushes

**I'm going to wait for TWO more reviews for this chapter before I put the next one up!**

**So yeah. For the next couple chapters, there is going to be a LOT of sexy time between Matt and Troy! Woot! I is excited, and based on the comments I got from everyone, other people be excited too!!! YEAH! SEX TIME SORT OF! Anyway, I got this idea from a Book called Doing It, but it's not the same exact thing, so yeah. Just read. No copyright infringement intedend. **

**Chapter 16**

**In the Bushes**

I pulled Matt over into the bushes. He quickly pushed me onto the ground, my back grinding into the dirt. His lips once again attacked mine as his hand went up my shirt. I had no idea he was so incredibly frisky. And best of all, he was frisking me. I'd been wanting this for so long, I was so excited and happy I was finally getting my Matt back. My Matt wanted to be with me again, and I was so glad! I had forgotten what his tongue and mouth had tasted like. Forgotten the feeling of his touch.

He pulled the shirt over my head, the dirt rubbing up against my back. But I didn't care. Matt wanted it off so it was off. I would do anything for Matt and I would let him do anything to me. I was in love with him. I unbuttoned his shirt, feeling the large muscles underneath. God, I loved his muscles. He was so strong, so wonderful. "I've been working out quite a lot," he mentioned.

I grabbed his arm and felt how big it was. "I could tell."

"I did it to get my mind off of you. Everytime I thought of you, I got the biggest hard on."

"Thanks...I guess. Just please, don't leave me." He was so beautiful. A little bit idiotic sometimes, but I still loved him. He was mine.

His body grinded against me in pleasure and I knew he wanted me too. But God his lips were amazing. His saliva was amazing and his lips were so soft. His tongue was wet and slick and felt so nice against my tongue. I could feel the bumps on his tongue, and I was so aroused. His cheeks so close to me. His strong jawline, moving as his mouth moved against mine. My hand unbuttoned his pants and unzipped his zipper. I wanted that cock once more. My hand slid under his pants and under his underwear and I grabbed that perfect ass. It was so smooth and round and felt amazing under my hands as I squeezed it.

I slid his underwear over that gorgeous ass and felt his cock fling over his boxers. I looked down and saw his cock was as hard as a rock. It looked like the most amazing thing as it hung there, yearning to be touched or to be pleased. It was big and round and smooth and hard and wide and long and just plain perfect. The way that it went from base to shaft to head to tip was just...well...I'm probably disgusting you right now, aren't I? Anyway, I grabbed it and began kissing him again.

He tried staying up as I slowly moved the cock through my fingers. I wrapped my fist around it tenderly and pushed it through my fingers as I felt his tongue move through my mouth and my fingers lightly felt his soft and muscled skin. He moaned into the kiss as did I as I felt how incredibly smooth his entire body was. As his hands held him up from crashing into me (which honestly, I'd have been fine with), my fingers ran through his blackish hair that was so short and velvety.

My hand went slightly faster and I knew he was near the edge. His cock twitched against my hand as he moaned louder. I was hard as hell but I was completely fine with pleasuring Matt. His face squeezed up and then suddenly, he came all over me. His hot come splashed all over my chest as he groaned quite loudly, but not loud enough to attract attention. I felt so good as he released himself onto me. It meant that he truly did love me with all his heart. He showed all of his emotions and feelings in that one come shot onto my stomach. He was infatuated with me.

At that moment I was terrified. What was he going to do next? Last time, he left and called me a fag for nearly a year. But this time he whispered into my ear, his breath broken, "I love you so much Troy." He then let go and landed on me, smearing the come on our bodies. God, if someone found us, that would be the most awkward thing ever. Someone walking in on Matt professing his love with me.

All I can say about that moment is that I had never felt better in my entire life. To try and explain that emotion would just make it so much worse. So I'll just tell you that I felt whole and perfect at that moment as he lay on top of me, his breathing heavy and luscious, his come smeared all over my abdomen.

**So, you're welcome. And let me say, the next two chapters is going to be about sex. I'm sorry, but it's true. Wait, why am I sorry? You know you like it. Anywho...LOVE YA IF YOU COMMENT!!!**


	17. At the Movies

**All right. More of my fantasies played out on the page. Sucking off Zac Efron. For some reason I find the act of giving head so hot, yet getting head disgusts me. I don't want to put my cock into someone's slimy mouth with very sharp teeth. No, I'm fine with giving head...Which is sad really...Anyway, if I ever met Zac Efron, I'd give him the best head of his life! But enough of me being a stalker...HERE WE GO!**

**Chapter 17**

**At the Movies**

Here is yet another segment from Matt's journal.

* * *

After laying in the bush for an hour, we got up and decided to go and see a movie. We went to the other side of town to a small movie theater that no one ever went to. On the way there, it was so hard not to grab his hand, hold him close, and kiss him tenderly. I wanted him so bad. It was so hard not to love him. He'd been my best friend forever. Not only was he gorgeous but his sense of humor, his personality, his overall shine was just unbearable. He always seemed so happy, so when I saw him so sad, deep down I hated myself for doing that to him.

We went to go see some movie. I forget what. We didn't actually watch the movie. It was old so no one was in the movie theater. It was a tiny movie theater and when we saw that no one was in the booth above us anymore, we started kissing. His lips touching my lips was amazing. We sat in the very back so that no one could see us if anyone did show up. His hand went up my shirt and I went up his shirt. I felt his hard nipple, caressed his nice toned body. I had no idea I liked something like this. I thought I liked women, yet here I was making out with another guy, feeling his body. And I liked it. Even though I just came, I was getting hard again.

And then I remembered: I hadn't returned the favor to Troy. He made me come, yet he still hadn't released. I wondered how he hadn't died yet. He was probably in pure agony at that moment, just waiting to burst. I got onto his lap and continued making out with him. My hand squeezing his chest, I asked, "Are you hard?" My nose was against his, our foreheads touching, lips tender and ever so close so that I could feel his lips move as he talked.

"Yeah," he answered.

"Want me to relieve that?" I asked.

"You don't have to..."

"I'd be honored." I slowly moved down, my knees resting on the floor, my nose moving over top his shirt on the line between his muscles. I unbuttoned his jeans, looking up at him and giggling. He smiled back at me, his eyes glinting so perfectly. He was amazing in every way. The feeling he gave off as I unzipped his zipper was purely wonderful. No one in the world could resist that glorious smile. It was angelic.

I pulled his pants and boxers down over top his crotch, enough so to get to what I want. His cock swung up high, incredibly hard. It was so majestic and beautiful, pretty much standing up to greet me. It was so long and wide. I grabbed it and slowly started rubbing it. I heard him moan my name as I felt how oddly smooth it was, which seemed unfitting against the rock hard interior. I felt so good as he moaned my name. It meant he still loved me.

I was curious and wanted to try. There's a first time for everything. I felt like I had changed so much. I would have hurled if I was in this position a year ago. And now look at me. I'm about to suck Troy off.

I pushed the thing up, and throwing care to the wind, I stuck my tongue out and licked it to the tip. He moaned louder and he looked down at me, more pleased than ever. I actually...liked it. I didn't know if I liked the act of sucking or the act of making Troy happy, but I liked it nonetheless. I grabbed it again and licked his tip. He shook as I did this, and I knew I was doing a good job. I took the thing into my mouth. At least I tried to. I got it about half-way down before almost gagging. It was ginormous. It wouldn't fit in my mouth. It filled up my entire mouth, and I only got it in halfway. So the next time I opened up my throat as if I was about to take a shot of whiskey and dived back in again. Before I knew it, my nose was buried deep within his pubes, which tickled my face.

He moaned really loudly when I got it all the way in, and subsided as I slowly pulled it out. My tongue pressed against his hard cock as my head went up. I went back down again. The feeling of his huge cock filling up my entire mouth and throat was truly amazing. It was so hot and wonderful. I didn't know why I got off on it, but I did. The taste of it, the feel of it, the sense of being filled, not to mention the sense coming from Troy of approval was fantastic.

I slowly went up and down, evolving and getting better as I went. I made a tighter suction with my mouth. My tongue swirled around Troy's member over and over again. When I got to the top, my tongue would flick against his tip, sending shivers up his spine. One hand felt his stomach and chest. The other massaged his balls. He was just so hard, and he was hard for me.

I knew he wouldn't last long. I was really good at head and he was hard for so long. He started saying my name louder, slightly higher, and breathing fast. His gasps broke through my name. I pushed down quite hard, getting the entire thing into my mouth, when it happened. Troy both gasped and moaned somehow. His body shook and then suddenly I felt my mouth begin to fill with something else. It tasted sort of weird, and yet it tasted amazing. It covered his cock and slid down my throat as I tried desperately to swallow it all. He just made so much of it, it was so hard.

Finally, he stopped, and he looked into my eyes again. He looked flushed and in so much pleasure. "How was that?" I asked, taking his wet cock out of my mouth.

"Unexpected," he answered.

"And?" I asked.

"Absolutely amazing. I love you, Matt." And with that, I sat back up in my chair, beginning to hold him in my arms, feeling the warmest sensation in my body, and watched the ending of the movie with Troy.

**Fuck. That was pretty hott...And you know you liked it...Come on...That was smexy...NOW REVIEW!!!**


	18. In the Bed

**That's right...more sexy time...pure sexy time...romantic sex...Thinking about it makes my heart soar and my pants tighten...WOOT!!! Anyway, ENJOY AND COMMENT! And know that my forum is still wide open...and I mean WIDE open...**

**Chapter 18**

**In the Bed**

After the escapade in the movie theater, we went over to my house. We immediately rushed into my room and shut the door. My dad was giving us some space apart. By the way, my mom had lost the fight. She tried kicking out my dad, but the house was under his name, so she went to go live with her sister. I still couldn't believe she was this stubborn and naive. When we got into the house and my dad saw us, instead of yelling at us like I thought he would, he instead smiled a small grin towards both of us as a subtle show of approval.

When we entered the room, we kissed for a second, and he said to me, "I love you and I'm sorry I didn't realize it until now."

"It's OK. As long as you love me," I answered.

His hand squeezed mine tighter as he said, "Of course. Now can I borrow your shower?"

"Of course," I answered. He went into the bathroom as I went downstairs. I quickly grabbed a snack bar as I loitered for about a second. I so wished my dad didn't enter and try to talk to me. It would be so incredibly awkward. I just came out to him accidentally, I didn't want to talk about it. Luckily, he didn't bother me, and when Matt was finished taking a shower, I went back upstairs.

Upstairs, I saw the most beautiful thing I ever had. Matt laid there, completely naked, sprayed out across a towel. His body glimmered from the steaming hot water from the shower, his head on his palm, his elbow supporting his head, his stomach stretched out with his body slightly turned, his flaccid cock out there and beautiful and still pretty big. "What do you think?" he asked.

I was completely speechless. I opened my mouth, but nothing came out. I was totally in awe. He just looked so beautiful at that moment. His entire naked body just laid out there for me. It was just so wonderful. "I love you," was all I could mutter. I walked over to him, placed my butt on the bed right next to him and stared him in the eyes. My hands moved through his black, wet, sleek hair as I felt his soul connect with mine. In all the time I've known him, I never made this connection with him...ever. He was so beautiful, even on the inside. Sure, he had a great personality, but I never actually touched him in this way.

"So then your ready to make love?" he asked.

"Uh huh," I answered. My hand grabbed his chest. It felt warmer than usual, that warm that only comes from the most relaxing showers. His skin so soft, his muscles so firm, he was amazing and his body was perfection. I rubbed slowly, felt the skin and nipple and muscle as my head slowly leaned down to his lips. And God were his lips so amazing. They were so soft and warm and wet. The way his lips moved against mine, his tongue slowly evading my mouth. It felt so perfect, out wet mouths making soft noises as they moved against each other.

His hand moved over to my shirt, in which he slowly and sensually pulled it up. It went over my head, my hair slowly falling back to normal. He looked down at my body and whistled, making me blush. He pulled me on top of him, and I leaned down again to kiss him. His hands went down to my crotch to take off my jeans for the second time that day. He awkwardly pulled them down, trying to make it as smooth as possible, but ulitmately failing. It ended up with me falling right next to him, laughing my ass off, my pants half way down. I finished the deed, trying to bring back the moment, but with Matt, it didn't really matter. I was with Matt for so long, it felt like we'd been going out forever.

I looked down to his crotch to see his fully erect cock. I smiled and looked into his eyes again. My eyes open wide, staring at his open wide as well, I asked, "Are you ready...again...for this?"

He understood what I meant due to the unspoken bond and language we had, so he answered with a gulp of nervousness and horniness, "Yep." I went down and laid down on his hairy legs, my cock straining against the bed, my face extremely close to his crotch. From here, I got the best view of him. His cock stood proud right in front of my eyes, close enough for me to touch. His balls lay there, round and perfect. His shaft was so long, wide, hard, and nice. His pink head was large, round, and once again, perfect. And the best part was that it was like that because he thought of me. He wanted me. His cock twitched and I knew I needed to please him.

I breathed hard against it to tease him. My fingers slowly laced themselves around him. He groaned as my mouth began to open and I slowly moved forward. I moved slower and slower until he said, "Ugh, you cock tease. Will you please just suck me already?" My tongue then, with a mind of its own, began slowly licking his tip. Bit by bit, it wet more and more of his gorgeous head. With his head in my mouth, I put more and more of it slowly down my throat. He moaned louder, making me feel more self confident. His delicious cock went farther and farther in until I was staring at his pubes.

I went quite slowly. I didn't want him to come right now. I just wanted to make his slick cock even slicker. But God, I could suck that cock off forever. It was big, tasty, and mine. My cheeks sucked in to give the full effect as my tongue pushed all of his buttons. He moaned more as the small amount of air went under the seal of my mouth. I continued going slowly up and down for a couple of minutes until my mouth slowly came off of his member.

I stood up and moved over. I slowly moved downwards, looking him into the eye. When I got far enough, I grabbed his saliva covered cock at my entrance. I felt it shake in my fist, so without warning, I pushed it into me. I forgot how good it felt. It felt nice with Mr. Stein, but that was nothing like the feeling I got from Matt at that moment. My eyes went from his face to his body over and over, trying to pick which was more beautiful. My hand squeezed his gorgeous chest in a mix of pure pain and pure pleasure. I moaned louder than him, which was sort of weird.

He lay there on his back, his hands behind his head in pleasure, looking fabulous, so I decided to do the work for him. I put my weight on my hands that were behind my back and went up and down his rod. My cock flipped and flopped around everywhere, probably looking ridiculous. I remembered that Matt loved me and that was why we were fucking, so I moaned even louder. I prayed to myself that my dad had already left the house to give us some privacy.

This position was fine, but it wasn't getting us anywhere. I put my hands on my bent knees and went straight up and down. It felt so incredibly amazing, his large cock plowing my tight hole. He groaned so loudly, trying not to come. He sort of yelled, "Fuck, Troy, you're so tight..."

I decided once again to do another position. I placed my hands on his built chest that he worked so hard on and moved up and down that way. As soon as I went down, that ultimate wave of pleasure struck me hard. He stabbed that one spot with his blunt tool making me shiver and the muscles in my ass tighten. My lips found his as I awkwardly felt his giant cock inside me, feeling that wonderful feeling over and over again. My cock was raging and urging to be touched by my love. I could feel that deep burn within my thighs and legs as I tried to support and move myself.

When I got to the top, I felt him push deep into me. I realized he had begun doing the work, so I just stayed in that position, feeling him have his way with me. My lips firmly attached to his, his hand went over to my cock and wrapped a fist around it, beginning to jerk me quickly. I knew i wouldn't be able to hold it that long. Matt did so many things to me.

"Do you like this?" he asked against my lips.

"Fuck, Matt, your cock is so big," I answered.

"Do you like it up the ass?" he asked.

"Do you like sucking me off?" I answered.

"Touche," he noted. He moved faster and faster, the intensity increasing as we both reached our limit. His hand and cock and movements did wonders to my body."Fuck, I'm gonna come, Troy."

"You wimp," I joked.

"I...love..." he moaned, and suddenly, it all happened. "You..." he said, his voice catching, and then suddenly he moaned so loudly. And with the loose of his voice, his seed did the same. His come hit that spot extra hard and extra hot. I couldn't hold it anymore. I was pushed over the edge. My lips were pursed against his. My fingers clawed into his sculpted chest. My ass clenched tighter than ever before. My come sprayed all over those beautiful abs, like jewels on his stomach, so hard and wonderous. I moaned into his mouth, my hot breath mixing with his. I had never been harder in my life. My entire love came out of my cock and went all over Matt's toned abdomen.

After our long comeshot, I went upwards, Matt's cock exiting me, a trail of come hanging onto my ass. I fell down on top of him, my head landing on his chest as he took the towel and cleaned himself off. It was my come he was wiping off. My come after we made love. Matt and I made love. And no one ruined it.

"I love you, too," I sighed, inhaling his scent, my mouth close to his skin, my legs entangled in his, my hands carresing his abs. I slowly faded to sleep as his hand went through my hair and I felt more perfect than I ever had in my entire life and more tired than I had in a year.

**All I can say is...wow...I like this mucho...COMMENT BITCHES!!!**


	19. Our Normal Get Together

**A'ight, more Letter for you all. Another sex scene, too. I hope you enjoy mucho. Some sexyness right hurr! Also, I got the name of this person from Tom (And I hope he doesn't find me as some creepy stalker for using his name, hopefully he understands what I am talking about) and a picture from A&F because admit it, you know they're sexy!**

**BTW I sort of got this sex idea from another person's story that I faved. It's not the same exact story, but a sexual position is the same. Don't sue!  
**

**Chapter 19**

**Our Normal "Get Together"**

I feel as if this part of the story is very important. It summarizes Matt's and my physical relationship together.

This was one of our scenarios that we played out sometimes. Matt and I were in the locker room, waiting for everyone to leave. Matt had a towel on top of his crotch, which is hopefully quite obvious why it is there, but if not, it will be explained quite soon. I stood there, quite anxious, making idle chatter whilst waiting for the rest of the basketball team to get the fuck out of the lovker room so Matt and I could have some time alone. The hot guys on our team are also walking around naked after having a soothing shower and washing off the dirt and sweat accumulated after a hot dose of invigorating practice. And trust me, some of the guys on this team were beyond hot. For some reason I thought teenage guys were insecure and shy when it came to other naked men, but no, it was dick city all the time, so many hanging cocks just there and surprisingly arousing.

After the last one leaves, me pushing out a laugh as one of them tries to tell a joke, Matt stands up and lets the towel fall to the floor. Of course, his cock is rock hard and a bulge appears in his pants. The best (or maybe worst) part about Matt is that he gets horny so fast but it takes him forever to come. Sometimes I'll be waiting forever for him to finish up after I come. In fact, sometimes I come twice.

Matt slowly walked towards me, his shoulders moving forward and back like a real big man would. In sex, there are two times in which time seems to slow down. The first time is before it starts as the two embrace. This was happening right now. Matt was moving slower than physically possible, creating so much tension that my dick might explode. That moment where his face is dangerously close so that I can feel his hot breath against my face and neck, his arm slowly moving forward towards me, his entire body trying to grasp me, that is when time slows down.

The moment when time seems to stop, that is the orgasmic finale.

"You ready?" he asked.

"Uh huh," I half moaned, half whispered. His arm went around my back as his lips touched mine. The thing about is sex is there are so many different ways of being good, there is no right or wrong really. You just do whatever comes natural to you. Sex is sex and it feels good either way. There is no sport to kissing. There are so many different ways to kiss that it's hard to lose. We awkwardly moved over to the locker room door. We jammed a chair next to it so that no one could enter.

We fell onto a bench and continued kissing, making sure not to move else we fall to the ground. Matt stopped kissing me to say, "The guys on our team are way too hot, I want to screw them all. I get the biggest hard on when watching them shower. Fuck, they get me so horny."

As I pull off his shirt and lick his nipples, he says, "We could have a threesome with that guy from Texas, Tom. He always gets me the hardest, other than you. He can fit right between us so that he takes it from you."

I disagree with him. "A guy won't want it up the ass on the first time," I tell him against his hard and luscious nipple.

"Well, why did you do it?" he asked.

"I experimented on myself before our first time," I told him.

"Well, maybe I could try taking it from hot guy in threesome," he said.

"Would you want to?" I asked.

"Not really. How about if we can get him in bed, I would take take your ass while you suck him off and I would kiss Tom." This got me even harder. Tom is one sexy beast. He's this guy from Texas with the smoothest of bodies with small, tight nipples, a big manly chest, great abs, perfect skin condition, and a cock so big I could probably not be able to fit it into my mouth. But if I can take Matt, I'm sure I could take Tom.

Matt broke my sex fantasy by pushing the top of my head downwards. As my nose scraped against his stomach, he said, "I need your mouth," in a sort of whiney voice. This always got me to suck him off. He somehow seemed so hot when he begged for my lips. I took off his pants (which was a bit hard, since his hard cock was pushing against them so hard) and began sucking the behemoth.

Matt pushed my head towards his body as I nearly choked whilst the thing slid down my throat. Air escaped my mouth and vibrated against him, makin him jolt. "Fuck, Troy, you sure do know how to suck a man off."

Without a retort, since my tongue was too busy winding around his member than form the words to say something back, he said, "I bet you like cock."

Since my lips were wrapped around his stiffie and not around sexy smack talk right back at him, he said, "You must really like sucking cock because you're so good at it."

I gave up and let him bash me with his words, which I liked because they were naughty and hot. He threw his head back as his chest rose into the air and he gasped. "Fuck, you make a man come so hard. Fuck, you dirty slut. You just love sucking the pole. But you like riding it better. Fuck, you make a straight man...come..."

I thought I got him. Finally got him to come early. But I didn't. I could feel the muscle contractions in his cock like he was about to, but he didn't. "Now I want come in your ass. Is that doable?"

I nod my head crazily and take the thing out of my mouth. I get up and fall onto my back as I let Matt undress me. He took off my shirt and moved his lips close against my sternum. "What great muscles you have," he said, his hot words burning my skin as his lips tenderly touched it with the slightest hint. He slid downwards with the slightest of ease to my crotch. Above the clothing, he said, "Here is my prize. Can I have it?"

"Whenever you want," I told him.

"Good, because if not, I'd have to take it by force." He pulled off my jeans in an instant until I was a naked, hot mess on a bench. He grabbed my cock and did the hottest thing in the world. He went back up to my face, placed his cock at my entrance, slowly started rubbing my cock, and started toying with my nipple. "Do you want me to fuck you good and hard until we both come hard into one giant messy pile?"

"Do you have to ask?"

He grunted as he rammed inside me without warning like one of those roller coaster rides that suddenly shoot off to pure excitement and he said, "No!" He immediately started a quick and rough tempo that was absolutely mind blowing.

Although all of a sudden, he stops and says, "I have an idea." He takes a rubber band that was so loosely wrapped around his wrist and wrapped it around my cock and balls. It felt as uncomfortable as hell. "You always come too early. I want to share the magical moment with you. This should keep you stopped until then." He began again, thrusting deep inside of me and ramming against that spot.

The torture was unbearable. He kissed me as his cock held open my ass which felt so fantastic and so brutal that I cannot describe it. The feeling of him bringing his mental love physical was unbearable. I wanted to spray my love everywhere, but the damn rubber band wouldn't let me.

As he continued pushing hard into me, I held on for dear life, afraid I would pass out from the torturous pleasure. My knuckles turned white as my fingers grasped the bench. I held so hard, I was afraid I was going to rip a chunk out of the wood. I made scratch marks on Matt so deep he started bleeding a little. Although I think he liked it, that S&M bastard. "Aw, fuck," he said. "You made me bleed. Now I'm gonna have to make it even worse!"

He pushed harder than ever. The problem was, I knew he was thinking about me. When he tries to think of something else to make his erection go down, he has this facial expression that is so easily readable. He never wears that face when he makes love. In fact he actually concentrated on me. I was the only thing in his head. And he thought of the hottest things ever to get him off. He must be Superman or something.

It was getting more and more excrutiating. I could feel the muscles in my loins push hard to shoot the come out, and getting confused as to why nothing was leaving my cock, would push even harder. It was the hardest come in my life until then and nothing was coming out. I was so incredibly hard and Matt wasn't even touching my cock. He was touching my abs and chest and face and hair.

I begged loudly, "PLEASE COME!"

He laughed back at me.

"This is too much! JUST FUCKING COME!"

He pushed harder and harder.

"FUCKING HELL JUST DO IT ALREADY!" Suddenly, his hands, whatever the were holding at the moment, squeezed as hard as possible. His seed shot at my spot like a fire hose. This always got me off. Always. I don't know what happened, but it did. Maybe the rubber band was old. Maybe I was pushing too hard. But suddenly the thing holding me back snapped and broke.

It was that moment that time actually did slow down. I could feel each thrust from Matt as if they were a minute long. Sound began to disappear. I laid there, smiling, lifeless, letting my body do what it wanted. I watched Matt's face as he looked me into the eyes and then looked down to see my cock explode with come. My come sprayed his entire body and mine. He moved back for a second and a comeshot hit the ceiling. It was the most painful and beautiful feeling in my entire life.

After it finally stopped and I came back down to reality, Matt said jokingly, "You broke my rubber band!"

I laughed the best laugh I could muster."That was the most invigorating and cosmic feeling ever."

"Really?"

"Yeah..."

"Ready to wash off?"

I lay there for a second, letting it all soak in. I was with Matt, and he had just given me the best comeshot in my life. I stayed there before answering, just enoying Matt look down at me lovingly. "Sure..."

So we walked over to the shower and did what we usually do after a long fuck fest: a makeout session ending with Matt sucking me off and him beating himself off. By this point, Matt was almost pro at the art of fellatio.


	20. Telling People

**Seeing if I finish this today, I will actually end this story tomorrow on my birthday! WOOT! I have the last chapter written already (I'd like to tell you I had the last chapter written since the beginning, but that'd be a lie) which this story is going out with a bang (heehee innuendo) and this chapter will be sad then happy and terrible because I'm writing it as fast as possible. COMMENT!**

**Chapter 20**

**Telling People  
**

The end of our senior year was ending and we were both very sad. We were going to different schools and we decided to end it. We knew it would never work out. Our love was destined to be short, but condensed and amazing. We tried to figure out whether to tell everyone or not. At first I didn't want to, but Matt felt like he had nothing to hide whatsoever. I finally agreed to do with his wishes, which was to pronounce our love to the entire school. It was so strong that people needed to know. Matt said that he wasn't afraid anymore. He was tired of hiding his sexuality and that if our love (and more importantly, our sex) was that amazing, it would have to be told to others.

On one of the last days of school, we started off by walking hand in hand together into the school. I had never felt worse in my life. Yet, I never felt more great and more free. At first people stared in disbelief. They joked, "Hahaha their bromance has gone so far that they're not afraid to walk hand in hand."

Matt corrected them. "This isn't a bromance," he told them. "This is real."

"What?" they asked.

"I love Troy."

"Like a brother, right?"

"Like a lover."

"You're a fucking fag?" they asked.

"Isn't it obvious?" he asked. They laughed awkwardly and ran as far the hell away as possible. Before class even began, people were staring at us weirdly as if they knew more about us then we did. They looked at us condescendingly, but that may be in part to us sitting on the ground, hand in hand, our noses touching.

One girl went up to us and said, "Aww, how adorable! An actual gay couple in this homophobic piece of hell!" I blushed. "And two jocks nontheless. I just knew there was something going on in that locker room. Not all guys can be straight in there." Matt laughed and I slightly giggled. But of course things got worse.

Another girl (who was much more conservative) came up to me and asked, "Are you really gay?"

"Honest to God," I answered.

"Don't you dare bring God's name into this, sinner."

"Did God make you?"

"Yes."

"Did God make me?"

"No." Honestly, that stung a little, because her stupid views conflicted with mine, which was that I was still pure in God's eyes, even if I was gay.

"Was I always gay?"

"No, it was your choice."

"When I was straight, did God make me?"

"Yes."

"How could I be a creation of God one day and then a hellish abomination the other day?"

"Well...it was decided in fate."

"Then what the hell is free will if God decides your fate before you are born? And also for that matter, why would God make me gay in the first place if I was a human? And lastly, why would God decide to make me gay halfway through life then since the beginning? Hmm?"

She hesitated. "...shut up!" I knew I won that battle. I knew she could answer those questions, but she must have been too angry and shocked by change to retort my questions that I was answering in my head. Later, some other people came up to me. It was a bunch of guys. They actually threw their food at me. I guess they were scared that I was questioning their sexuality. If they were gay, then they were gay from the beginning. I wouldn't have changed anything. I decided not to yell at them and be thankful that they didn't beat me up.

Later still, Gabriella came up to me and said she realized why I couldn't make love to her. I told her that that was the truth and she seemed to accept it. She said at least I didn't try to drag it out or anything. Matt wasn't so lucky. I learned later that he was slapped across the face by Jasmine and was yelled at. "THAT'S WHY YOU YELLED TROY'S FUCKING NAME AS YOU SCREWED MY POOCH!" she yelled. "YOU FUCKING FAGGOT!" I didn't learn about what happened until the end of the day.

During lunch I tried to find Matt. He had gone missing and I needed someone to hang out with. No one wanted to talk to me. Actually, the only people who wanted to talk to me were these fag hags who thought I was a flamboyant gay who acted like a girl instead of a classy gay. They wanted me to be their new best friend. I had developed a following. They told me they knew I was gay and I told them, "Good for you." No one would help me find Matt because his only friends hated him. The only people he knew (except me) thought he was a disgrace. That must have hurt him.

I couldn't miss class so when the bell rang I had to go. I couldn't go looking for Matt even if I wanted to. I had enough on my plate. Later during my last period I had to go to the bathroom. In one of the stalls I heard a soft crying. I thought I had mistaken this for the girl's bathroom, but there were urinals, so I was in the right place (although some were yelling at me when I was entering that I was going into the wrong one because I wasn't a real man anymore). I tried to open the stall door and there was Matt. Of course it was Matt, he's the only person who never locks things. He's too open and free.

"Go away," he said.

"I swear to God if you go back into that homophobe stage I'm going to kill you right here," I told you.

"No, not that," he answered and slightly laughed, but more in an embarrassed way.

"Then get off that toilet seat and into my lap." I sat down and he sat on top of me. "What's the matter?" I asked.

"Everything is going down..." he pointed to the toilet, "...there."

"No it's not."

"What the hell is going on? Why did we tell people?"

"You wanted to."

"It was a mistake."

"No it's not. You need to get used to this rejection and hate. The world is prejudice."

"But this prejudice?"

"Of course!"

"Fuckin' hell. Will you kiss me and fondle me to make things feel better?" I did. He told me about his day and all of his ex-friends telling him what a horrible person he was and how he was going to hell and all of his fears coming to life. And then he told me about Jasmine, which I knew was a total hit below the belt.

"I'm sorry. Let's just kiss." We did, for a long time.

"Hell, we've been reduced to making out in the bathroom."

"Well, at least we can be in the same bathroom at the same time. Hetero couples don't have that perk."

He laughed. "Fuck it, how am I horny right now?"

I looked down and he had a bulge in his pants. "I don't rightly know. But it is typical you. Want to have bathroom stall sex?"

"All the politicians do it. And besides, this is like the one place in the entire school in which we haven't fucked."

I had never hear truer words. Anyway, I'll keep this part short because I know you've had to deal with a lot of gay sex in this letter, and this time I'm not going to go too into it. What happened was Matt stood up, I pulled down his pants, and I sucked him off. God, do I love sucking that man's cock. Have I told you that it's perfect? Anyway, with my hand up his shirt and feeling his muscles and my other hand jerking him as I sucked that giant tool which choked me hard, I blew him like crazy. It's funny because that was probably the best oral I ever gave him and I'm barely describing it. You just had to be there to appreciate it fully. Just like how love is never as good in the books. You have to just experience it.

Matt came pretty quickly for Matt's circumstances. He lasted a full twenty minutes. He tried to keep his voice down, but I knew it was hard for him. He was sort of a screamer. He was thrusting into my throat while I was pushing my face into his pubes, thus making me gag like crazy. My entire mouth was filled with his sweet come. It was actually hard to all fit in there because his cock is big and he came one giant load. I could feel it dribble down my chin as I tried to swallow as much of it as possible, but failing. I'm pretty sure he came twice because the surroundings were oddly kinky.

We spent the rest of the period together (which incedentaly was the last period of the day) until the bell rang, and then we went home to my room in which he fucked my ass. Then sucked me off in the shower in one of our hour long showers together in which I would come all over his face (which he for some reason loved so much). We would then lather each other up with soap, making special attention to our slightly flaccid cocks (we couldn't be hard forever. And come on, even though we were in the shower together, we had both just come twice, maybe even three times). We would eventually end up on the floor in each others arms, kissing hard while the suds slid off our wet skin.

**Like I said, it was sad at the beginning and happy in the end. Sort of like the entire story. Did I mention horny? I forgot horny. Oh well! PLEAZ COMMENTS!!! LAST CHAPPY WILL BE UP TOMORROW! THEN DONE FOR THE SUMMER! Make sure to wish me a happy bday tomorrow (even though birthdays are the worst days for me EVER!)!**


	21. Final Moments

**OMFG HI! Anyway, it's my birthday, so I'm giving you a present. I have no idea why though. You should be giving ME presents (GLEE!) so how about you WRITE ME COMMENTS RIGHT NOW!!!! LAST CHAPTER!!! OMFG ITS AMAZING!!!**

**I want to say this now before I regret this: Taylor Lautner is going to be so HOT in New Moon! I absolutely HATE Jacob and for the first movie thought he was TERRIBLE for him. But OMG he looks fucking SEXY! Have you seen those muscles? He actually looks like a man! Fuck it, he is actually sexy. And I HATED New Moon! Worst story! But I'm gonna go see it and secretly fawn over how shockingly HOT he is! FUCK!!!  
**

**Chapter 21**

**Final Moments**

Some time had passed by. School had ended and Matt and I had spent the summer in a haze of sex and ending (but not dying) love. It was our last night together and we wanted to make it very magical. I was going off to college the next day. We spent it at my house in my room left completely alone by my parents who were staying the night in a hotel for my sake. Also, they were there to get their marriage back on track. I was so happy for them. Finally, my mom was living with the fact that my dad did not ever cheat on her and that he loved her. I was so happy that they were getting back together.

We started the night in the living room, sitting on the couch (somehow we were both on top of each other at the same time) and watching television. Matt told me how his parents had reacted to him being gay. They were pretty angry and annoyed and told him that he could stay until he left for college. Then they said that they didn't ever want to see him. I felt so terrible about that.

I felt something and I asked Matt what it was. He answered, saying that it was his boner. One thing led to another and suddenly we were kissing and his shirt was off and I was straddling him. My lips went down his stomach which was moving uncontrollably under my touch. He looked like he could barely breathe by the way his abs moved up and down so rapidly. My tongue frivolously licked his navel, which made him move so much. My hands moved awkwardly as I tried to get the damn button undone, which was sort of hard by the way he was moving due to my tongue licking his belly button.

Finally, it was done and I got him completely naked. I tried to get his pants off seductively, but that didn't work out so well. But he didn't care because we were in love for the last night of our lives. It was something to make you cry, but no tears would be shed that night. It was a night of pure pleasure and physical as well as emotional love. My cock was yearning against my jeans as I stared at both his tall standing cock and his eyes.

I held the back (that was from my point of view, to him, it would be considered the top) of it and just held it for a moment. I rubbed the head lightly and just felt its smoothness and hardness. Honestly, I had never loved a cock so much and honestly, I could fondle that thing forever. Imagine the most amazing cock in the entire world and it was ten times better than that. And the way he used it too. Just thinking about the way that god could use his tool could make me cream my pants. And also, since I'm about to begin a new part to this story, I'd like to say that while writing this letter, I've been constantly hard. I've even had to stop a couple of times to releave myself because I would always start to think about the things that Matt would do to me.

Once I saw it twitch, I knew I had to do something with it. I slowly licked it from the base to the tip like I always did. My lips surrounded the tip and I slowly went down, feeling my lips quiver in anticipation and erotic pleasure. They quickly and lightly spasmed like the muscles they were as I slowly slid down, looking into his eyes, which at times were shut as he threw his head back. His hands would entangle in my hair on the back of my head as he would softly exert pressure to push me down just that little bit. Of course the taste was fantastic as always. Of course the feeling of it in the back of my throat was amazing as always. It was just amazing. It's just the way that his entire cock somehow fill my entire mouth that's just so amazing. It's always rock hard, yet the skin is so soft. It smells so oddly sweet as my nose is so close to it. The way he sticks it all the way into my mouth that it goes down my throat. It's this sort of kinky satisfaction that I love so dearly. It makes me feel so full. And when he gets it in all the way and how his sweaty chest rises so high into the air with his soft skin glistening so beautifully and his hard nipples sticking out. The way his stomach muscles move so much and just how amazing they look, they always look amazing. How his chest rises so that all the air can fill him which he does because it is a reaction, this gasp he does when he is so filled with ecstacy. And the soft, yet hard exhale that is the groan or moan that sounds so incredibly beautiful, more beautiful than any music I had ever heard in my life. If it were a note, I would only play this note. If it were a word, it would be my favorite word. The way it stabs my throat, it's just so amazing. Honestly, I think I like sucking dick better than I like it up the ass. I don't know why I do, but I just do. Especially if the cock is rock hard like Matt's always was. I don't know if I could lick a softie. It just wouldn't be the same bluntness a hardon brings to the party. It's just the feeling of it and the way my tongue would float across the hardness of it. And maybe the best part of it is when they come. God, when Matt comes in my mouth I almost come in my pants. Actually, some of the times, when sucking him off, I start to jerk off, and as soon as his come fills my mouth, I come hard against my hand and everywhere on the floor. I can't even try to explain it. It would ruin the amazingness of it.

As I felt Matt strain inside my mouth while I slowly went up and down, sucking like there's no tomorrow, Matt moaned like crazy. He always moaned like crazy and he always makes the loudest noises and he always takes forever to come, which is just one reason why I love him. Suddenly, he said, "Can you stop? I want to have a more intimate moment and that's kind of hard when you're pleasuring me and I'm doing nothing in return. Come up here." I did as was told and sat on his bare thighs which were slightly hairy and very muscled. He kissed my lips, unafraid that his cock was just in my mouth. I liked the taste of his mouth, which was supposedly good, but I liked the taste of his cock much more. His hand went up my shirt as my hand slowly gripped his cock. His hands went up further as my hands slowly went up and down. I repositioned myself so that I got closer to him, giving him better access to my body. Finally, the shirt was off.

His hands went down to my crotch, which made me move slightly. He undid my button much easier than I did his, and his hand slowly went down my pants and went around my cock. I groaned as he did the same thing that I did, except my cock was leaking precome after being hard for so long. He ordered for me to stand up, which I did. He pulled his hands out of my pants and moved them over to my ass. He quickly grasped my ass and I jumped. When I landed, I was much closer to his body with his cock in that crease between my legs where my raging boner was. We laughed slightly heavily and we began to kiss. His hands slid into my jeans near my bottom. His hands pushed my jeans around my slightly large ass. Honestly, I guess the best part of my body is my ass. It's so smooth and round, but honestly, Matt's is one hundred times better though. God, I could kiss that perfectly smooth and round ass for a million years. I got up slightly so he could take my pants off all the way. We both watched my incredibly hard cock spring up after yearning in its cell for so long. It landed on Matt's perfectly hard cock. Both our cocks were standing up straight, leaning against the other for the little support they needed. His cock was bigger than mine and I loved his. To me, mine was a little odd shaped. His was perfect. I had to hold myself back from just going down there and sucking him hard, feeling that giant thing choke me as I blew shafts of air on it as my tongue sped around it untik he came hard, yelling my name and moaning so loudly until he was finished coming completely. I tried to stop myself, but it was so hard. I could tell it was yearning for me. "Oh God," he moaned, staring at my cock. "I could suck that thing right here. But how's about we head up to your room?"

I stood up and pulled his hand and his naked body up as our exposed selves rushed upstairs. I watched his cock and muscles jiggle up and down as he half-bounced half-ran up the stairs, his hand in my hand. As soon as we got into my room, he threw me onto the bed. I said, "Yes," as I began to sit up, but he threw himself onto me with a thud. We both laughed for a second until his body moved downwards. His face got down to my crotch and the first thing he did down there was lick off all of the precome. All of my nerves were on fire down there. He licked the entire thing, sending my brain somewhere and causing it to explode. I only let him do this for a little while though.

He fit the entire thing in my mouth and I nearly screamed it felt so good. My cock hit the back of my throat and I heard him gag, sending me even farther. "Oh God!" I yelled, and he smiled around my cock. "Please, I don't want it to be like this. Don't make me come yet. Can we fuck?"

"I'd be glad to," he answered.

I moved him over so that his back laid against the bedpost. I kissed him very fondly and said, "Let's get you slick again." I slowly moved down his body, my face very close to his amazing muscles. I took his cock for a second time and licked it slowly and seductively. Again, the same temptation overwhelmed me. I had to hold back. I wanted to make him come hard in my mouth. I did it for a little bit, and then he told me to stop.

I moved back up. My face was mere inches from his face, our naked bodies in that moment of pure torture and when the tension is so strong and it is just waiting for release. The only other moment that is felt is just before climax. His chest rose heavily in anticipation as he wanted to touch me that way so badly. I was both in front of him and on top of him. Our chests and out eyes and our mouths and our souls were so very close. I grabbed his cock wet with my saliva and slowly went downwards. Our eyes stared into each other as his cock felt my entrance. I winced and he continued to look up at me in admiration with those puppy dog eyes, his mouth agape, his black hair messy. I went down farther and suddenly my reaction from my nerves made me jerk and my arms moved around him. His hands moved around me too and we pulled each other close again. His lips attacked mine in a soft manner as I slowly went down until he was all the way in.

My cock was incredibly hard that it was shooting up like a torpedo in the air due to staring at his body and face, kissing those sweet and soft lips, and him having his giant tool inside of me. I said, "Let's keep it this slow. Let's not go any faster than this. Let's just keep it intimate and loving. This won't be sex. This will be exploring each others bodies."

Matt agreed. As I held his hot back, he slowly rubbed my cock. Our tongues entwined in each others mouths as we kissed. His raging cock filled me in so many ways. Our hands that were not busy felt the other person's muscles. God, Matt had the most perfectly sculpted body. His body was a piece of art in my eyes. I slowly went up and down, trying to move slowly but utterly failing. I wanted his cock so badly, but I knew I couldn't. I was on the verge of coming the entire time, but I knew I could somehow hold it back. That feeling played and tortured me the entire time. I could feel the shape of it down to the last detail as it stretched out the lining of my ass. I gasped everytime he hit that spot. Every time Matt made a sudden movement on my cock, it twitched.

Like I said, I tried to go slow. I wanted this to last forever and ever. I never wanted to leave him, but I knew I had to. I clenched tight and he moaned and smiled in his kiss. My cock was almost hurting by the pleasure it was feeling. It strained so hard to stay erect and to keep the floodgates closed so not to come. It would have been awkward since it was going so slow. But still, everything was somehow more intense.

I slowly began to speed up. I did it discreetly so that not even I noticed. But all of a sudden, Matt was taken over by the animal inside him and he began to go fast. He started thrusting into me from under me. He went faster and harder. Suddenly, he pushed me onto my back and hovered above me. He fucked me harder and faster, more than he usually does. He pushed his lips hard against mine as we moaned loudly.

He flew upwards as he threw his head back. It was almost like a jolt of electricity went through him, or that it was some reaction as his muscles suddenly tightened, throwing him up. He moaned loudly as he held my chest tightly, his own chest sticking way out in the air. My legs were slightly up in the air and off to the side, while Matt was doing this sort of split thing to move his crotch down to my ass level. "Ahhhhhhh FUCK!" he yelled at the ceiling, squeezing my chest tighter. He looked like an animal above me. His body moved in this intoxicating rhythm, his ass moving far back to get his big cock as far out as possible and then super close to get it in as far as possible. He did this so quickly it was surprising. It was like watching a pendulum go at hyperspeed.

"What happened to going slow to explore?" I asked him in gasps and between his thrusts.

"Fuck that shit," he said. "We'd been doing that for about an hour. I'm horny as hell now, and I need you in this way more than ever. Fuck it, I need release!" I tried and just barely succeeded in getting the cellphone on top of my drawer and sure as hell, it was an hour after we had started. He dove back in for a kiss as he continued his fast-pased motion. He gave up on that to stand up straight to get some air. I sure as hell needed some too.

Of course he grabbed my cock and began to thrust as if there was no tomorrow. It was insane how amazing it was. I wanted to come at that moment. He moaned loudly, almost like a yell, as he plowed me hard up the ass and jerked my cock. "Faster...harder..." I begged in a pant. He did as told. Somehow he did it. It was fantastic.

"You're gonna make me come..." I moaned.

"Hold it, baby. For me. Hold it," he panted as I looked up at him as he stared at my body and my face in such concentration and as he continued to plow hard and fast.

"I'm tryin', but fuck, I need to." I could feel the come just at the tip of my cock as it waited to be set free. My entire body was on fire. I was in such pleasure.

I continued in this torturous pleasure for what felt like forever until Matt finally said, "Fuck, I'm gonna come."

"Yes baby, come for me. Release yourself," I told him. He moaned louder in a more blunt and broken fashion. It was louder than before and sounded more like a release of breath now. It sounded like pure release after so much tension from increasing pleasure. His voice sounded heavenly. His eyes stared into mine as his mouth fell agape in pure pleasure.

Matt pushed in hard and held it for a second as the first wave of his seed came out. It shot hard at my spot. Nothing in the entire world could have held me back at that moment. My pleasure was overflowing and needed to be shown. When Matt got to the base of my cock, my first splash came. It flew high into the air and hit my neck. I felt so good at that moment. A feeling I can never explain fully or well.

Matt pulled out and then pushed back in for a second shot. With my ass clenching around him hard, this spasm was much stronger. His body vibrated like a gong after being hit. I sprayed my chest that time.

We continued to come hard until we finished, both panting like crazy. Matt immediately pulled out and let his still hard cock that was covered in his seed rub against my bed. He licked the come off of my body, which made me go mad. The air was alive in that moment. He got down to my cock and stuck the fully erect thing all the way down his throat. I felt that singe again. "Oh shit, I feel a shockwave coming on." He said nothing because he was sort of muted by my cock. I came for a second time into his mouth. I had held it in so long, I guess I had accumulated two layers worth of comeshots.

Matt fell over onto the bed and I moved to on top of his chest. My head moved as his chest moved quickly up and down to expel the air in his lungs. I stared at his slowly softening cock.

After about 15 minutes of us controlling our breathing and me playing with his snail trail, he said, "Well, I guess we should go to bed." I turned off the lights and we got under the covers. It was quiet for a few minutes, but I was still wide awake.

"Troy, you awake?" he asked in a whisper.

"Yeah, I am," I answered. For some reason I felt four, talking to him in the dark. It was if it were a secret that we were talking, making it feel all the more magical. Except for the fact that we were both completely naked and holding each other tenderly, I felt like a child. Maybe love feels childish, or maybe love has that same warmth and glow that comes with being young and naive. That sense of false hope and wonder.

"Why can't you sleep?" he asked, whispering into my ear.

"It's my last night with you," I answered.

"I'm not tired either," he said, holding me closer. I felt his hot skin try to melt into mine, and I wished it did. How much I wanted to meld with him. His muscles wrapped around me tightly, our genitals placed next to each other. But not in an erotic fashion, it was more of a "they're meant to be next to each other and touching because they fit like a puzzle" feeling. His warmth radiated into me and I gave some of my warmth to him. Underneath the blanket, we were at equilibrium. We were so in love, it was sad. It was going to end. I wanted to hold him closer, but that would have just destroyed the tenderness and the lazy feeling of us just being there, just two bodies lying there close. No, I held him loosely, but well enough.

"I don't know if I'll be able to go to sleep at all..." he continued.

"I'll miss you so much," I told him.

"I'll miss you too," he answered.

"It's sad that we started loving so late. If only I confronted you earlier."

"And if only I wasn't an idiot and realized I loved you back."

"Tonight isn't a night to blame," I whispered. "No, tonight is to say goodbye and embrace each other for the last time. That is what we are doing."

"Then let's not sleep," he said, "Let's just lay here and talk." I don't really remember what we talked about that night. That's not the important part. What was important was that we were there. We were in love. And it was ending. No, we just whispered the entire night, holding each other and feeling warm in my bed underneath the sheets. In the bed in which I slept. In the bed in which I dreamed about what was happening in this bed. Under these sheets that have hidden my shame. Underneath these sheets that have made me warm when Matt did not.

So Matt and I stayed up that entire night. Throughout our talking, we kissed frequently and reminded the other of our love. I touched his body constantly and he did the same back to me. I left for college the next day. On the ride to college I slept, dead tired from my night with Matt. And that night I cried into my pillow, sad that he was not there. It wasn't too bad, though. I had been so used to this feeling of not having him that the blow was weakened. I felt slightly cold in my dorm, all alone.

And then the next day, I met Tyler, my new room mate.

**Dear God, I left it at that?! I am just the WORST type of person! Who the hell is Tyler? What is going to happen? You'll have to wait until I start up again, so I'm sorry...Oh well! I am evil and hahahaha! ENJOY YOUR SUMMER!!!**

**Well I am hard as hell, and it is done. As a new year and a new summer begins for me, a love and a story ends. And hopefully (although I can never be sure) the story will start again this fall. Now go release yourself from the sexual tension XD!!!!  
**


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